Brave Enough To Be Bliss

If the survivor is ready to seek help, get online and search for local sexual abuse/assault support services or contact RAINN, the national sexual assault hotline that offers 24/7 support.

“Telling a survivor to ‘ Leave it in the past ’ is dismissing the reality of their nervous system and body. No one wants to relive traumatic experiences on an ongoing basis. Survivors respond to past trauma because they are traumatized, not because they are unwilling to let go.” Nate Postlethwait Healing will be a process, oftentimes a long one. If you love someone who has experienced sexual abuse or assault, seek online resources to educate yourself, attend support groups for partners, parents, or siblings of survivors, or talk with a mental health professional who can help guide you about how to best support your loved one and help you deal with your own feelings of helplessness, guilt, anger, resentment, loneliness, etc. Trigger warning for any survivors reading this, please note the disclaimer at the start of the video on the link below and don’t feel you have to watch it since you already know what the experience is like. As a survivor, the song was therapeutic for me at one point early in my healing, but the video can be overwhelming for some survivors so please do what is best for you. I am primarily sharing this video for those who have not been through an experience of sexual abuse or assault. This video is worth watching so you can get just a teeny, tiny glimpse of how it feels emotionally to be violated in this way. I will be honest, you will be uncomfortable watching, but that is precisely why it needs to be watched, so the discomfort moves you to support survivors with more compassion than fear. At the time, I really felt if I could share that Facebook post, I must have worked through most of my issues. I had been to MOCSA, I had seen a therapist, I had even tried EMDR. I mean sure, I had determined myself after a couple sessions of EMDR that it r eally wouldn’t work for me, but hey, at least I had tried. I had remembered the rape happened; I didn’t need to remember the details of it. I was ready to tie up that up part of my life with a bow all nice and tidy, and now that I had acknowledged it trying to help someone else and admitted I wasn’t the image of perfection I pretended to be, surely, I must have been fixed enough that I could just move on from all that. Lady Gaga - Til It Happens To You (Official Music Video) - YouTube I hadn’t found my next career stop even after the one - year mark and my daughter’s high school graduation. I hadn’t found it after she left for college in the fall nor by her winter break. And I hadn’t found it by spring break either and was starting to get very concerned. It had been nearly two years since my position had been eliminated and the retirement savings I had been using to live on and support Kylee in college were getting very thin. Even more distressing, though, was the fact there was a lot of soul searching going on, a lot of quiet, a lot of time by myself, a lot of all the things I had avoided like the plague previously. I do remember trying to get outside more often, even running the trails that had been the race site for Kylee’s fundraising events. I exercised regularly, and applied for jobs halfheartedly, believing no one was going to hire me, but otherwise, the highlights were all centered around when Kylee would be coming home. I selected the title of this chapter, Freedom to Remember , because during this time I was beginning to allow myself to think a little bit about what was best for me, not just other people. I had survived the numerous medical challenges. I had survived the divorce. I had bought a nice home for Kylee and me. I picked out and bought the vehicle I wanted. I was in total control of my finances. I had lessened the pressure I put on myself at work and made it a priority to get home earlier. I had a few nights by myself where I could do whatever I wanted without thinking about how it would affect anyone else. I was meeting new people and learning new “Healing one person might not change the whole world, but it could change the world for one person.” Unknown

77