Brave Enough To Be Bliss

My special memories of these first months of expecting you are… the wonder and excitement of knowing you exist. It was wonderful to see the reactions of our friends and family when we shared the news. It’s already so obvious that you will be a loved child by many. Some of my thoughts from the second three months before you arrive are… whether or not I’ll be a good enough parent. I know I’ll do my very best, but it’s hard not to worry that won’t be enough. I know, though, that you will always have all the love and support possible from your Daddy and me. We may not be able to give you everything you want materially, but we will do our best to offer whatever you need emotionally.

And my biggest concerns have been that you are… healthy and that I am doing everything I can to ensure that. Sometimes I worry about being in a car accident, but I’m always careful to wear my seatbelt properly.

Since others have found out that I’m pregnant, I’ve received lots of free advice, such as… “Sleep now, you won’t get much in the future.” “Are you sure you want to do this?” “Don’t wear heels (shoes).” Etc. Most of the comments we heard were negative sounding. It was like before we were married. People have a way of making a positive experience sound negative. We chose not to listen to them-it went in one ear and out the other. We believe we know what we’re taking on and we couldn’t be happier about our deci sion. And it seems that everyone wants to tell me their childbirth stories. They’ve told me things like… they were in labor for days, it was horrible, it was a wonderful experience — there were many different stories, and they were obviously varied! We are going into it with a positive attitude. We believe that – like anything else – it is what you make of it!! And we’re going to make it the best, most positive experience we possibly can. Sometimes the timing of things as I’m writing is so incredible…and incriminating. My first thought when I typed this was, well, that’s awful that people do that. And then it hit me, I’m sure I’ve done it myself. And then I realized, I just had. My daughter had sent me a Snapchat video a few minutes earlier of her in her king-sized bed with her two dogs practically on top of her. She wrote, “ But as long as they are comfy.” And I responded, “Yep! That’s what moms sacrifice for their kiddos! Comfort, first thing to go. ” While we were teasing and she jokingly “complained” about it first, I still quickly and without thought played along . adding a negative reference to parenting. I could have just as easily said something like, “You may be sacrificing some comfort, but they’re worth it.” While this example wasn’t a big deal, it brought to mind the impact negativity bias can have in our lives and relationships if we aren’t aware of it. There’s a link at the end of the chapter for the entire article, but Positive Psychology states, “Negativity bias refers to our proclivity to ‘attend to, learn from, and use negative information far more than positive information’ (Vaish, Grossmann, & Woodward, 208, p. 283). We can think of it as an asymmetry in how we process negative and positive occurrences to understand our world, one in which “negative events elicit more rapid and more prominent responses than non - negative events” (Carretie, Mercado, Tapia, & Hinojosa., 2001, p. 75).” My greatest fears are… not remembering the breathing techniques or other things to make labor easier and smoother. I’m really not too scared, though, because I know Daddy will be right there with me. It will be painful, I’m sure, but nothing we can’t get through. As long as we g et you here safe, sound, and healthy, it will be worth anything we have to go through. As the day of your arrival grows nearer, I am excited about… the fact that we’ll be able to finally hold you and hug you and kiss you. I carry you all the time, but it’s not the same. I feel the back of your head every day to see if you’ve turned, but you seem to be quite content in this breech position.

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