Brave Enough To Be Bliss

His family lived in St. Louis, so I hadn’t had the opportunity to meet any of them before he popped the question a quick three months later. I wasn’t surprised by the proposal as he had mentioned the possibility of getting married. H e didn’t have money for a ring, so we went to the jewelry store together to buy one since I had to sign the financing paperwork. I don’t remember the timing exactly, but I believe I met his family in April following the end of the basketball season, when we were both able to get away for a weekend. He had two younger brothers and a younger sister, and this felt like a very big family to me. They were all very nice and welcoming. They laughed and teased each other a lot, so I could tell they had good relationships. I enjoyed listening to their stories about growing up together and it was nice to see a family intact; however, I felt uncomfortable, overwhelmed and not good enough to be there. It wasn’t them; it was me. It was always me, that was the problem, and I knew it. I just tried to listen, hoping they would ask me as few questions as possible, and that the weekend would pass quickly. It was similar to how I felt participating in sports other than cross country. I felt on display, out of place and like I was a disappointment.

There was nothing they could have done differently to make me more comfortable. I just didn’t feel comfortable anywhere, not even in my own skin.

“Strong relationships are based on trust and communication. But if there is no communication, there can be no trust.” Simon Sinek

Resources ▪ How to Deal with an Emotionally Unavailable Partner | TRS® (relationshipschool.com) ▪ What to Say When Someone Says You’re Too Sensitive - The Relationship School®

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