Brave Enough To Be Bliss

Chapter 7 — A Sweet Connection

“Many relationships would be a lot healthier if we romanticized honest, open, and direct communication instead of idealizing the idea of a partner who’s intuitively in tune with your every need. You don’t need someone who can read your mind, you just need someone who’s willing to listen when you speak.” @ compassionatereminders In August 1992, the football season was just getting underway, which always required more onsite time during practices. Occasionally, a particular graduate assistant athletic trainer would come over and chat with me on the sideline. I didn’t remember names well, likely because I was nervous when people introduced themselves and worried about what I was going to say instead of carefully listening to their names. Several times I had to ask my boss what his name was. As the season went on, people in my office began noticing the graduate assistant was coming by to use the fax machine more often and when he did, he usually ended up at my desk to get some of the SweeTARTS Candy ® I kept in a bowl there to share. We became friends and there were a few times I thought maybe he really was interested in more than the SweeTARTS Candy ® . He didn’t ever ask me out, though, so I figured I must be mistaken and then felt stupid for even thinking someone would be interested in me. I mean, he seemed like a kind, handsome, single guy, so why would he be interested in me? Plus, I had told myself I would never date anyone I worked with anyway, so wondered why I was even giving it any thought at all. I was always thinking ahead, so as a student assistant at K-State I figured just in case anyone ever happened to express interest in me and ask me out, I would make it a rule not to date anyone I worked with. That would make saying no easier for me and not risk hurting anyone’s feelings. I’m quite sure I never even considered the fact I might want to say yes. As it turns out, it never became an issue anyway. I worked in a field of primarily men and not one asked for a date. Propositions for sex, yes, but dates, no. Clearly there was something terribly wrong with me. The attraction with the athletic trainer appeared to be obvious to my boss, however, as he asked several times that season if we were dating. I told my boss no, which was true because we never dated in the true sense of the word. A couple times the trainer told me when he was working at a popular bar, Big Daddy’s, and said if I came, he would give me free French fries. But other than that, we just talked at work. At the end of the season on a trip to Hawaii for the Aloha Bowl, we stood and talked freely at the back of the plane much of the way there since it was a chartered flight. The team practiced, and then we went to dinner with several other athletic trainers. As a full-time employee my per diem was higher than his, so I offered to pool our money because I didn’t eat anything expensive at restaurants anyway, so I’d have extra. Later that night, we went for a walk on the moonlit Waikiki Beach, and it wasn’t long until he reached for my hand and soon after kissed me. When we weren’t work ing, we spent our time together for the rest of the trip. We hiked Diamond Head with friends, and I invited him to come with me to the media dinner cruise the night before the game. It was the first time I had ever had a plus one to RSVP for. The team won the game, the icing on the cake, of what was already a very memorable trip. Despite crazy busy work schedules, I would see him occasionally around Allen Fieldhouse and when there weren’t any home events or travel, he’d come to my apartment after work. My dad and stepmother met him soon after we got back from the trip, when they were in Lawrence before a men’s basketball game . Next, I invited a longtime friend and her boyfriend over for dinner so they could meet him. He didn’t seem nervous at all about meeting them. He could make conversation with anyone, something I really admired. And of course, everyone immediately liked him.

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