Brave Enough To Be Bliss

You’ve got it ✨✨✨

Ginger Bliss I will certainly try. It’s just so disappointing after all the terribly hard work that in this one area I still get so mixed up and the fact he doesn’t hold it against me makes me feel even worse instead of feeling reassuring that if he can put up with my bullshit, he must actually love me. Andrea You have to try to reframe your thoughts and messages to yourself. If you were talking to a friend or child about this fear, how would you respond? Kindness love compassion patience ✨ It doesn’t completely go away we just learn strategies and how to manage and it will be less and less but when it arises we say “oh okay I see you are scared. I hear you. I know why you are scared. Let’s lean into our strategies, offer compassion, and go t o the truths in this moment ছ .

It’s unconditional love and understanding. You showed him so much love in your letters and life. He is responding in the same . You deserve it.

Ginger Bliss That all makes sense and makes me feel much better. You and Ginger (Rothhaas) are very similar which is reassuring and familiar and reiterates what I cognitively know and understand and really do finally believe.

I hadn’t ever thought of it that way. You’re right. I just have to receive it. That is the one thing he has consistently done , show me grace and understanding. He can be a bit hot headed with pretty much anything or anyone else…but he never has been with m e.

Thank you very much! ❤️

Andrea Sending love to you. Keep practicing receiving. You deserve all of this ✨ thank you for sharing.

“Relationships rarely end because people stop loving each other. They end because they feel unseen and misunderstood by each other.” Jillian Turecki

On Thursday, October 6, 2022, 10:41 AM, Ginger Bliss wrote: Good morning. Hope you’re off to a good start.

I woke up with one of my epiphany’s this morning. I wanted to call you, or actually I really just wished you were laying righ t there where I could wake you up to tell you. I’m going to share what I wrote, not because I’m scared to talk about it, but because I’m excited to tell you and because it’s going to be a tool I can use to remind myself how I can better handle my fears should th ey arise again in the future. Until my nervous system gets fully in check, I think referring back to this can really help. Visual reminders really help me when my mind is spinning, and the written word always provides comfort.

Also, I know I am not the only one with fears. Only you know for sure what yours are, but once we identify them and acknowledge them, we can figure out how to manage them instead of allowing them to pull us away from each other.

This is not pressure for you to do or feel anything, but it is my commitment first to myself of how I will better handle my behavior with a man and to you if you choose to embark on a new journey with me. The journey just has to be different for both of us moving forward than it has been in the past. No doubt we are different and better able to communicate now though.

Here’s what immediately came to me at 6:30 a.m.

When I feel scared after John leaves, I need to remind myself it’s ok, my brain is just trying to protect me but I don’t need protection anymore and I don’t need protection from John because he loves me.

When he’s not with me and I am desperate for his reassurance and I go into a pattern of trying to control the situation, I se lf sabotage trying to control him by forcing his reassurance. Or when I try to run away from him, I lose any chance of the connection I so very much want with him. I subconsciously do these things because I feel overwhelmed and out of control when what I really want is to feel loved and protected. I am triggered when he leaves me and then when he doesn’t respond to me.

In order to self-regulate I have to recognize when I am moving into these behaviors and then pause, not send the text or email or even call, and instead process through my feelings with a therapist/coach instead of writing to John.

Because John loves me, it would be helpful if he could tell me a general idea of when he will be back in touch or at least that I can count on the fact he will be. It would be very helpful if he could hold me tight before he leaves and give me a kiss on the forehead if

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