Brave Enough To Be Bliss

his heart, that’s when he was at his very best. It was authentic, genuine, it just flowed. But when he tried to read something, even when it was something I had written for him, it just didn’t work as well. He was an awesome communicator when he spoke from his heart, but like me, when he tried to speak using his brain, it didn’t work nearly as well. And I think this all came together for me right now to be able to write this chapter. I was reviewing the following emails to get a sense of what I wanted to say to introduce them, and I saw this sentence, “ It reminded me of when you said, we just communicate differently when you came over recently. ” That was on June 20, 2022, when I wrote that to John. It is May 20, 2024, when I am writing this part of the chapter. So, in my way of thinking, I am finally fully following what he probably said nearly two years ago. I can be smart about some things, but I can also be very slow about other things. I just don’t think my brain works like other people’s brains work. And it’s both ways really : I can write something and think it’s clear, but then when someone else tells me they understood it differently, I can also see how it was confusing. Like the Chapter Review Reqeust — it never even occurred to me that it could be read as a request for a review for book promotion. I am still in writing mode and am so focused on what I am doing it seems clear to me what I am asking for. But part of the reason it made me laugh so hard at myself is that now I can see it’s not the first time. It’s probably the third time someone has provided me with a review for book promotion purposes when I was just asking are you OK with me using your first name or sharing the story the way I have? Regardless, suffice it to say, I still have work to do on communication and conflict and perhaps a need to slow down, as John often reminded me, and read through my communication before I send. Maybe it’s like shooting for being happy instead of joyful or depressed, I need to find a place in the middle for my brain where it’s not going a million miles an hour and it’s not moving so slowly it takes me two years to catch up with John where I hear what he says, but I don’t understand what he’s saying. And I really don’t think it’s because I’m not listening , or maybe it is. I could listen to him for hours and I could remember very specific things he said , so that made me feel like I was a good listener. But it’s similar to thinking I’m a decent writer and believing that makes me a good communicator. Maybe I was listening so intently to the specific words that I couldn’t understand the overall concept. Like comprehension. I have to listen to audiobooks because I can’t sit down and read the pages of a book and have any idea what I’ve read after even one page. The surgery fixed my double vision, but my eyes still get so tired because I have to concentrate so hard on what the words are that I can’t follow the meaning of a sentence. Similar to trying to proof the book electronically. I can only do that in the morning otherwise I can’t understand if what I just read actually makes any sense. I hadn’t really thought about it this specifically before, but I think there’s something there I need to figure out . B ut it’s not going to happen tonight , because I’m finishing this chapter so I can go back to enjoying people in my life. I couldn't help but share this article with you. It's been an open tab on my computer for at least a week and I finally got around to reading it. How much I wish I would have read this article years ago...but maybe I wouldn't have "gotten it" yet. It reminded me of when you said, we just communicate differently when you came over recently. Isn't that an understatement? As often as we used to communicate, it's so interesting to me now how much we didn’t understand ourse lves, not mention each other. I enjoyed listening to your updates about what’s going on in your life, and i t just makes me very happy for you because if you can manage that challenging relationship, you can handle any relationship, so good for you. At the recent memorial service, I saw all of my former in-laws and despite the sad circumstances that brought us together, it was so nice to finally have real conversations with each of them. I was legally related to them for 18 years, yet we didn't even know one another. In the past year, I have had more real communication with them than in all of those 18 years combined because I finally feel safe in my own skin. I won't keep you, but just had to share this article because it immediately made me think of you and how frustrating I had to be when I wouldn't just say what was on my mind. And in the same way, when you used to respond with anger to people, it was likely more about you/your past, than them. We have both evolved quite nicely and I'm so glad we now know how to do better. From: Ginger Bliss To: John Mon, Jun 20, 2022 at 5:20 PM

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