Brave Enough To Be Bliss

far as disclosure goes, I think it would be even harder for a man because of the societal norms about manliness. It just sucks all the way around for anyone. Ginger Of all the people who have disclosed to me, not ONE has reported it. We have no idea of the real statistics because it's not being disclosed. That's what has to change, the disclosure, that's why people don't begin healing. Friend Absolutely. All of that. Get comfortable with uncomfortable conversations. Friend Oh we could have hours of conversation. The development of our friendship has been a real gift. Know that feeling free enough to tell you what I did tonight is huge for me. The more honest I can be the freer of it I am. Ginger Absolutely! I've been so blessed by you as well! Friend One thing you’ve said that has stuck with me is that you have to acknowledge it and face it before you can be free of it. I’v e spent a lot of life thinking I could deny it and be fine. Ginger That's wonderful! I'm so happy for you and proud of you for trusting and sharing! Every time you say more, the easier it will be and the more confidence you will have in yourself and then self-care will become easier too because you will see that you are worth investing in too...not just other people. I'm so glad to know that...I think we all do. We are scared to feel all the feelings, so we run from them, stuff them, deny them however we can with whatever coping mechanism we prefer. And we end up hurting ourselves even further than we were already hurt. It's hard while we're in that place to recognize it for ourselves, though. Friend Funny how we can meet someone else’s trauma head on but not our own. Ginger Oh yes...we're great supporters of everyone else. Which isn't all bad, it just isn't healthy if it's in the absence of also helping ourselves. Friend Agreed. In fact, much of my disclosure has come from empathy. These are a few things I have been told that perpetrators said to children to manipulate, coerce and/or threaten the child so they wouldn’t tell anyone… ▪ “You’re my favorite . ” ▪ “I’ll kill ___________ . ” (person the child is closest to…your dad, your mom, your sister, your grandma, etc.) ▪ “No one else will ever love you . ” ▪ “They’ll think you’re gay/lesbian.” ▪ “They’ll send you away . ” ▪ “No one will ever believe you. ” ▪ “You’ll be in big trouble.” ▪ “This is our special secret because I love you the most . ” My hope is that you will become a more compassionate human being with increased awareness of what so many people are dealing with. Your brain may want to believe there aren’t many people affected, but there are no accurate statistics because people don’t t ell. If you want to get a glimpse of the reported frequency, click on the link below and even that should be completely unacceptable. Your brain may want to shut down about now, which is understandable, but please understand by choosing comfort over the reality of what human beings are currently enduring, you are denying reality and in essence saying, “I do not care that my spouse, child, sister, brother, mother, father, friend, colleague, or neighbor was sexually abused or assaulted. I don’t care that they don’t feel safe enough to talk about it and begin to heal and have a chance at a fully joyful life. Hearing about it or talking about it makes me feel too uncomfortable or scared, so I prefer to leave them alone in their misery.” “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” Plato

We all have to make our own choices, but my hope and prayer is that you choose what you would want people to choose for you if you were the survivor.

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