Brave Enough To Be Bliss

Friend I was so afraid people would think badly of me. Even my family. Ginger

I am so very sorry you had to endure all of that. You are brave to have shared this with your sister and I hope she was able to respond in a supportive way. I am right now working on the paragraphs about how to respond when someone discloses abuse or assau lt. I think it’s so normal to fear the response from family because if they don’t respond supportively, it’s just more pain o n top of the initial pain. Did you get the support you deserved? Friend It’s mostly undiscussed. My sister is the only one in the family who knows some of the details unless she has shared them. Generally, they know something happened without the details. Dad never knew. I was sexually harassed in the dept where we both worked on campus. A fellow student employee who was being harassed made me part of her complaint and dad didn’t handle that knowledge well. He was sympathetic to me, but it was extremely hard on him. Mom is supportive generally but doesn’t care to know the details. Ginger I can only imagine how hard that must have been and be for you. Sexual abuse and assault is so scary to people that they just can't get past their own fear to be supportive. I understand it, but when people don't respond appropriately it can just hurt so much. Friend I have been very selective in who I’ve told and very lucky with their responses. But there again I haven’t told much detail. Telling you is the most open I’ve been. Ginger Thank you for sharing your story with me. It's tough to go back to those places. For me having the courage to verbalize it has been a huge part of my healing. Not having secrets anymore, getting it out of my body has been critical. I'm still working on the whole-body part...hate that really, but it just takes time. I'm trying to learn to breathe, to touch my stomach, the sort of yoga stuff I always said I'd never do. But I have found my nervous system has really calmed down with those practices. Friend Absolutely. And it’s taken me all this time to be in the right place to even type it. Again, the fact of it is a somewhat ope n secret among my closer friends but no details. That’s great. I need to get back to working on my self -care. Doing it for only me has never been my strong suit. Ginger It's good to get it all out. It's hard to trust, but there's freedom in saying the things we never thought we could with someone we trust. It's like I thought I'd take it to my grave because I thought I could never stop crying if I actually acknowledged it all and feared reactions...but once I told my self-compassion coach all the things, I feared the most, and found her supportive and loving, I was free to heal. Friend !!!! I used to think if I started crying, I’d never stop. I’m so glad you found your coach. Ginger I found learning self-compassion was the key for me being able to do any self-care also. I would do anything for anyone but didn't think I deserved anything at all. There are tools you can learn too when you're ready. Friend Oof. Ginger I thought that too...I think we all do. But keeping it inside is what keeps us locked in misery. It is what we tell ourselves about what the abuse/assault means ABOUT us that does the most damage. Friend I do know my experiences have made me compassionate towards others. It’s that other thing I need to work on. Ginger I understand. It's hard. Friend Oh absolutely. Took me years to not blame myself. Ginger When you're ready, just know you can learn. I believe in you, and I will be cheering you on. Whenever you're at that point. Friend Thank you for that and for using your experiences to help others. Ginger I just don't think people understand the why behind it, so I'm hoping that by sharing the detail of my story from a brain standpoint and showing how you can self-reflect and understand why you behave the way you do, will help teach people to self-reflect on their own behavior. I truly believe people don't want to be hurtful, but they shut down the conversation as quickly as possible because it exposes them to fear they're not ready for, but if we can explain it and help prepare them and educate them, I'm hoping we can begin to chip away at it all. We have to get people talking about it. I have been shocked at the number of men who are abused as children too. It's been overwhelming, so I'll be trying to talk using terms of people not just women...there are more women, but as

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