Brave Enough To Be Bliss

Sexual Assault Statistics | National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) saycrle.pdf (ojp.gov)

“It’s not always about trying to feel good. Sometimes it’s about getting good at just letting yourself feel.” Julia Kristina I can still remember exactly where I was when I read the following article that was published in The Washington Post on June 23, 2015. It changed my life. (A link to the entire article is below as well as the writer's personal website which is one of the best resources for information on sexual abuse and assault I have run across.) It was truly life changing to learn there was a real physical explanation for my lack of response. While I would still have much more healing to do until I didn't feel responsible at all, this information was crucial to understand my physical response wasn't one of weakness or stupidity or any of the other mean things I had said to myself. I believe every single human on this planet would benefit from understanding why victims cannot always respond like our brains think they should. hopper_whymanyrapevictimsdontfightoryell.pdf (jimhopper.com) Jim Hopper, Ph.D.  –Š‡ ƒ”–‹ Ž‡ǡ ƒ‡• Ǥ ‘’’‡”ǡ ™Š‘ ™ƒ• ƒ ‹†‡’‡†‡– ‘•—Ž–ƒ– ƒ† ’ƒ”–Ǧ–‹‡ ‹•–”— –‘” ‹ ’•› Š‘Ž‘‰› ƒ– Harvard Medical School’s Department of Psychiatry, wrote, “In the midst of sexual assault, the brain’s fear circuitry dominates. The prefrontal cortex can be severely impaired, and all that’s left may be reflexes and habits.” Š‡ ’ƒ”ƒ‰”ƒ’Š –Šƒ– „‡‰ƒ –‘ •‡– ‡ ˆ”‡‡ ™ƒ• –Š‹• ‘‡ǡ “Freezing occurs when the amygdala – a crucial structure in the brain’s fear circuitry – detects an attack and signals the brainstem to inhibit movement. It happens in a flash, automatically and beyond conscious control.” Kt hneomw ei ns gs ai gt ews aIswma ys bt orratiunr’ si nagu mt oyms ea lt fi cwriet hs p. Iotndsied, nn’ ot te al i mc oi nn as ct ei otuhse dme cailsl ,i obnu tt oi t dwoans oat hh iungge, cs ht eapn gf oerdwsaor md iunc hmayb o u t ƒ  „ ƒ ‹Ž  ‹– › › – – ‡ ‘ ƒ ” „ • ‡ ǡ ‰‹ Š‡ƒŽ‹‰Ǥ ”‡‡„‡” ˆ‡‡Ž‹‰ ƒ Š—‰‡ ™‡‹‰Š– Ž‹ˆ–‡† ˆ”‘ ‡ ™Š‡ ”‡ƒ† –Š‹• ƒ”–‹ Ž‡ ƒ† ”‡Ž‡ƒ•‡† feeling the relief. Understanding the science behind my body’s lack of response took away one of –Š‡ †‡ƒ†Ž‹‡•– •‡ŽˆǦ–‘”–—”‹‰ ™‡ƒ’‘• Šƒ† ‹ › ƒ”•‡ƒŽǤ ‘ŽŽ‘™‹‰ ƒ”‡ ƒ ˆ‡™ ‘”‡ ‡› ’‹‡ ‡• ‘ˆ ‹ˆ‘”ƒ–‹‘ Š‡ •Šƒ”‡•Ǥ ▪ “Another, more common reflexive response is dissociation: spacing out, feeling unreal, disconnected from the horrible emotions and sensations of such an intimate violation.” ▪ “Few who have experienced these responses realize that they are brain reactions to attack and terror.” ▪ “They blame themselves for ‘ failing ’ to resist. They feel ashamed. (Men especially may see themselves as cowards and feel like they’re not real men.) They may tell no one, even during an investigation. Sadly, many investigators and prosecutors still don’t know some or all of these brain -base d responses.” ▪ “None of these responses – in women or men – entails consent or cowardice.” ▪ “None is evidence of resistance too insufficient to warrant our respect and compassion.” ▪ “They are responses we should expect from brains dominated by the circuitry of fear (just as we should expect fragmented and incomplete memories).” ▪ “May the day come when everyone who knows someone who has been sexually assaulted – which is all of us, whether we know that yet or not – understands these basic ways that our brains can react to such attacks and uses this knowledge to foster healing and j ustice.” – Š ‡Š ‡’Š › •™‹ ƒƒ•Ž —‡š †’ ‡‡ ”” ‰‹ ‡‘‹ ‡‰ ‘ ˆ ‹ – ǡ „ — ƒ–  –†Š ‡”‡ – Š‡‡” ‡„ ‡™”ƒ‹ • ‰ƒ ƒ’Ž ‘Ž –‹ Š –‡ ™† ‡Š–‡ƒ”‹‡Ž • ‹ –‘ ƒˆ Ž–ŽŠ „‡‡ ” ƒƒ’‡ ‡ǡ ƒ •–‘ ˆ ‹‘”˜• ‡– ” ™” ‡Š‡ Ž‡‹ „‰‡ ”‹ ‡– †ˆ ‡ ŠŽ –‘ Ž™‹  ‡‹ – ˆ ‡‘Ž –”ǡ ‡ ‘ ˆ ƒ ‡‘–‹‘ƒŽȀ‡–ƒŽ ‡š’‡”‹‡ ‡ǡ ™Š‹ Š ™‘—Ž† Ž‡ƒ” ™ƒ• dissociation. At that point it wasn’t as though I was ••–‘‹ŽŽ ‡’‘Š›‡•‹ ‡Žƒ•Ž‡Ž›Ǥ ‡š’‡”‹‡ ‹‰ ™Šƒ– ™ƒ• Šƒ’’‡‹‰ –‘ › „‘†›ǡ ‹– ™ƒ• ‘”‡ Ž‹‡ ™ƒ• ™ƒ– Š‹‰ ‹– Šƒ’’‡ –‘ Kt hneomw ei ns gs ai gt ews aIswma ys bt orratiunr’ si nagu mt oyms ea lt fi cwriet hs p. Iotndsied, nn’ ot te al i mc oi nn as ct ei otuhse dme cailsl ,i obnu tt oi t dwoans oat hh iungge, cs ht eapn gf oerdwsaor md iunc hmayb o u t ƒ  „ ƒ ‹Ž  ‹– › › – – ‡ ‘ ƒ ” „ • ‡ ǡ ‰‹ Š‡ƒŽ‹‰Ǥ ”‡‡„‡” ˆ‡‡Ž‹‰ ƒ Š—‰‡ ™‡‹‰Š– Ž‹ˆ–‡† ˆ”‘ ‡ ™Š‡ ”‡ƒ† –Š‹• ƒ”–‹ Ž‡ ƒ† ”‡Ž‡ƒ•‡† ’ – ƒ Š  ‡ Š ‡ ‡ ’   Š ‘ › – • ™ ‹ ‹ ‘ ƒ  ƒ • ƒ Ž — Ž ‡ Ȁ  š  † ’ ‡ ‡ ‡ ” ”  ‰ ‹ – ‡ ‘ ƒ  Ž ‹  ‡ ‡ ‰ š ‘ ’ ˆ ‡ ” ‹– ‹ ǡ ‡ „  — ƒ – ‡  ǡ – † Š ™ ‡ ” Š  ‡ ‹  – Š Š ‡ ‡  ” ™ ‡ „ ‘ ‡ ™ — ” ƒ ‹ Ž  † • ‰ ƒ Ž ‡ ƒ ’ ƒ Ž ‘ Ž ”  – ‹ Š ™ – ‡ ™ ƒ † • ‡ Š –‡ƒ”‹‡Ž • ‹ –‘ ƒˆ Ž–ŽŠ „‡‡ ” ƒƒ’‡ ‡ǡ ƒ •–‘ ˆ ‹‘”˜• ‡– ” ™” ‡Š‡ Ž‡‹ „‰‡ ”‹ ‡– †ˆ ‡ ŠŽ –‘ Ž™‹  ‡‹ – ˆ ‡‘Ž –”ǡ ‡ ‘ ˆ The Washington Post on June 23, 2015. It changed my life. (A link to the entire article is below as well as the writer's personal website which is one of the best resources for information on sexual abuse and assault I have run across.) It was truly life-changing to learn there was a real physical explanation for my lack of response. While I would still have much more healing to do until I didn't feel responsible at all, this information was crucial to understand my physical response wasn't one of weakness or stupidity or any of the other mean things I had said to myself. I believe every single human on this planet would benefit from understanding why victims cannot always respond like our brains think they should.

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