Brave Enough To Be Bliss

Chapter 8 — Not My Healthcare Crisis, But One Exists

“In 30 years or more of medical practice and of addiction medicine, what I found was that the common template for virtually all afflictions, mental illness, physical disease, is in fact trauma. And there is a wisdom in trauma when we realize that our traumatic responses and imprints are not ourselves, and that we can work them through and become ourselves.” Dr. Gabor Maté Following is an example of how the work I did with Ginger was a benefit to my physical health as well as my mental health. My insurance changed January 1, 2021, so I was automatically switched to a generic medication. I don’t have any issue trying a generic medication, however, there are times when there can be unexpected and unintended consequences to how different medications work together. Over the course of the next few months , I began to feel less like myself. It wasn’t something I could pinpoint, and it happened so slowly that it took quite a while to notice it had become a real trend. I just seemed to have less physical energy, so I didn’t exercise as consistently as I had previously. When I don’t exercise consistently, over time I gain weight. Then as I gain weight, I am even more inclined to feel down about myself, which typically makes me want to binge even though that’s only going to make me gain more weight. It’s a vicious cycle that only gets worse and worse. But when I realized what was happening, I didn’t let it spiral into a complete healthcare crisis or something that would plague me for the rest of my life. I took the personal responsibility to dig into what was really happening with my body, thinking back to when I began to feel differently and when my behavior began to change. I told Ginger we needed to determine if my struggle could be mental, so we investigated potential influences, and ultimately that’s what led me to believe it had to be physical because there just wasn’t anything there. I didn’t shy away from figuring things out by this point, so that helped lead me to dig into my physical health. Then I searched for information from reputable sites online to get ideas and help me determine what information might be helpful to my healthcare provider, but not to assume I had the answer and take in a stack of online information. Healthcare works most effectively as a respectful collaboration. Providers can only know what patients tell them , so it’s up to us to give them any and all information we think might be relevant, understanding their time is limited so we must be concise in conveying that information. I explained my troubling symptoms, when they started and how they had continued to get worse, and the date of the change in my medication. She ordered lab work to see if that could provide an answer and if not, she would have me come in to discuss it further. Being an active participant in the process of healthcare can make all the difference, as it helps providers ask the right questions, find the right answers and then offer potential solutions. Good news, my labs were wacky, so there definitely has been an impact on my thyroid medication perhaps caused by the change from Premarin to the generic as I read that estrogen can impact how thyroid medications work. I was open to generics, but it’ s the only thing that has changed so it has to be that. Anyway, they are trying to get authorization for me to get Premarin for less than $200/month, hopefully at least, but if I have to pay that I will because I can’t go on feeling that way. And I have an appoin tment with an endocrinologist on July 9, so counting down the days to that appt and the change back to Premarin. So, now there is hope that I can physically feel better. It's a win for me because of you, though...I sustained a decent attitude and didn't spiral completely despite having to see on the scale at the doctor’s office the seven -pound weight gain that I have been feeling in my clothes. I know once I have the energy and strength to exercise again, I can bring it back down and fit into all my clothes again. In the meantime, I'm just wearing what I can wear and trying not to beat myself up for it. I just keep telling myself there's a reason, now I know we can fix that reason, and it will be ok. And despite not liking the way it feels, I can change it over time and making myself feel even worse won't do anything except make me want to binge and that only perpetuates the problem. Clearly, I have to do a lot of talking to myself, but overall, I've done way better than I would have at any previous point in my life. So at least it's happening now if it had to happen! And to have gotten through what happened with Scott, feeling like I was reliving the actual rape in detail that I'd never remembered From: Ginger Bliss To: Ginger Rothhaas Tue, Jun 29, 2021 at 11:47 AM

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