Brave Enough To Be Bliss

I also felt badly because as much as I tried to be excited about Dan, I really wished it had been John. I received the following encouraging text message from a friend. I wanted to be happy about it too. But for some reason, this message just reminded me of how much I still wished it was John I was dating. I wiped the single tear that fell onto my cheek as I read it again, actually believing she was right about it all. It makes my heart so happy to hear you’re out there and dating. You deserve all the happiness you give to others. Every relationship in life teaches us something and changes us. I’ve spent countless hours thinking through all I’ve been through. Whether cho ices I made or life events that happened to me. I believe nothing we go through is a mistake. It’s all part of the learning experience. There has been a lesson and a blessing even in my most difficult trials. I really believe every experience has better pr epared me for what lies ahead. I’ve learned to be quiet and listen to the voice inside me. To better trust my intuition. I’ve learned to forgive myself for my missteps. I’m sorry for all of your heartache. I’m hopeful brighter days are ahead for you. Don’t let anyone or anything dull your shine. The next week, John asked if I could follow him to the south side of Kansas City as he needed to drop his truck off for some body repair work. I said of course, and he said he would take me to dinner to thank me. That seemed odd, since he hadn’t ever taken me to dinner for any of the other nice things I had done for him in three years, so I wondered if maybe, just maybe, that was his way of asking me out to dinner. And it did seem like he had been treating me differently lately, now that I thought about it. It felt like…attention. And I hadn’t been doing anything to get it or really even wanting it. And it was very nice. So, then I knew, it was a quasi-date after all. I preferred for him to drive my vehicle anytime we were riding in it because it was a treat for me not to have to drive myself. After being married for 18 years, having someone else drive was something I really did miss, so anytime I could get someone to drive for me, I absolutely was going to. After work, we drove across town and while he was inside talking with the mechanic, I moved to the passenger seat. He came out, got the seat adjusted and we headed to the restaurant. Except we weren’t heading to the restaurant, we were going in the other direction away from the restaurant. I was familiar with the area because the health system I had worked for was very near where we were eating. Having read the book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus , I had learned to just keep my mouth shut and I knew he would notice before long anyway. I hadn’t realized it, but I was very low on fuel so about the time he realized he was going the wrong way, he also noticed I was low on fuel and pulled into a gas station, filled my gas tank for me, and even paid for it. I was inside the car with the biggest ever JV smile on my face because he was a little bit nervous and treating me like a lady. We did go to an Italian restaurant, he did open the door for me, and he did let me sit down first. It was a dimly lit place with candles on the table, so it was very intimate, and I enjoyed absolutely every minute of it. He asked what I wanted to eat and when the server came by, he ordered it for me, which I loved. He seemed to be enjoying himself also and afterward we drove back to my house. When we got back, we sat in my office and talked for quite a long while . I don’t recall that he spent the night, but within a week or so he did, and everything got complicated again between us for a time. “The revelation of rarity lowers tolerance. There’re certain things that you won’t tolerate once you recognize that you’re rare. See once you recognize that God has set your value to priceless, settling season is over. Because everything that settles ends up at the bottom.” Jerry Flowers Jr. Mom Sherri came for Thanksgiving that year, which made it particularly memorable . It’s tradition for me to give Kylee and my nieces Christmas pajamas at Thanksgiving, but that particular year I added an extra special surprise for Kylee. I decided after all our hard work on ourselves, we deserved to splurge and take a trip to celebrate, and I had some brave things I wanted to knock off my bucket list too.

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