Brave Enough To Be Bliss

“Opening the door to the darkness. That’s what I’m working on. How much can I open that door, honor the truth of what’s behin d it, and still hold the light.” Mark Duplass

Day Two ( October 11, 2018) I woke up about 7 a.m. (9 a.m. our time, so that was late for me). I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself. I opened the curtains and was glad to see that the sun was up, and it looked like it was going to be a very nice day. I was anxious to be in the sun again. I checked my email and took care of a few things that needed to move forward. I knew that life would have gone on if I hadn't, but it just would be nice for the staff for it to move forward. I know that I need this time to get away, be able to be with myself and not worry about other things, but I don't feel like I'm worrying about anything...just giving me brief breaks from the intensity of feelings every once in a while. I'm not shutting them down but allowing myself to do what feels right. For some people, they may not be able to look at anything. But I can compartmentalize, and I truly do not worry about work, it's just a little positive break for me. Work is something I truly enjoy. I don't really stress about it. It's been something positive for me, so I don't feel it's distracting me from being here or focusing on me. It's just been a break 2-3 times spread out through the day for a few minutes. I'm not responding to much of anything. Just deleting things I don't need to keep. I don't feel a "need" to check email or think about work, so I'm giving myself the flexibility to look or not look, just whatever feels right to me. Kylee spent the night alone last night, so I sent her a text to see how it went. She said it was fine and I accepted that and didn't worry about if it was true or anything. : Ginger Bliss Good, I’m so glad to hear that. I forgot my pillow so that always stinks but otherwise I was just fine too. Hope the baby sho wer goes well today. You going to talk to dad and tell him those things you realized and your plan moving forward? I think it’d be great if you did.

Kylee Oh no I’m sorry. Yep, I was planning on it! That way everyone is on the same page.

Ginger Bliss That’s great you’re going to talk to him. And also, be honest about the weather and tell him how it feels when he tells you what he’s cooking for dinner. He doesn’t know these things I’m sure, so tell him how it feels so he can be more sensitive moving for ward.

Kylee I’ve done all this because I want to live.

Ginger Bliss I believe you did a lot of positive self-reflection, and it was a huge step forward and will benefit you moving forward. I believed you and was so happy for you. From my standpoint, just the fact that you did that self-reflection and have a plan and have followed through with it is so very healthy and positive that I hope you just focus on that and what’s best for you. I am so very prou d of you for all the hard work you’re doing for you, so bottom line I hope you’re very proud of you too! I love you very mu ch!

Kylee Thanks. Love you too. Have a great day! And I appreciate you believing me.

Ginger Bliss I am happy to do whatever I can to be supportive of you. I know you can work through all of this, and you will come out a healthier and happier person for it...and set yourself up for positive relationships moving forward. I know I made mistakes and didn’t model things well, so if I have old habits that aren’t good for you, I just need to know so I can adjust them. We are all a work in progress so just know you’re never alone and I am always here to support you and love you to infinity and beyond!! ❤️ This quote below made me think of you and how much I admire you for fighting like hell. You are an amazing young woman, and you will one day look back and admire you just as much as I do! I love you!! “She’s incredibly brave for not only getting through what had happened to her, but knowing how much more she has to go and st ill fighting like hell to bring her smile back to life. There’s something to be said about a woman who goes that extra mile, know in g it’s a lonely place because not everyone has the guts to make it. She approaches each day with a full heart accompanied by an appetite to be extraordinary. Her success isn’t determined by how far she gets, for once you’ve escaped hell, you stop counti ng the miles and start believing in your hometown love for yourself.” Zach ary K. Douglas

End of text conversation and haven't talked to her any more today. Her dad was to get in about 4:30 p.m. so I'll probably just say goodnight later, or likely she will reach out when she's going to bed as it will be before me most likely.

I cried for a little while after this...not exactly sure why. Sometimes I am just so very sad.

I read quite a bit that day, although it is very challenging and takes me a very long time. I looked for the book on Audible, but it doesn't exist unfortunately...so I'm muddling my way through it slowly but surely. I had the thought cross my mind when it talked about "imagine someone who is truly wise and compassionate helping you, this can serve as a bridge to bringing the healing

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