Brave Enough To Be Bliss

Chapter 19 — The Greatest of These Is Love

“We’re all rough drafts of the people we’re still becoming.” Bob Goff

When I saw this quote, it reminded me of listening to Brené Brown’s podcast where she talked about the writing process. She said in her office, they use the term SFD which stands for Shitty First Draft. As a writer, that made me laugh pretty hard, but now it just makes me grateful Bob Goff simply referred to people as rough drafts, not SFDs. It’s inevitable when I read my own writing after it’s been published that I find at least one thing I would write differently if I could. And that seems like a great analogy for living as human beings. There will always be something we can refine regardless of the draft stage we ’re in , but that’s OK as long as we are not choosing to remain an SFD. I got curious and consulted the internet to see if there was any science to support feeling so peaceful when I’m near water, and it turns out there is. Marine biologist Wallace J. Nichols coined the term “Blue Mind,” referring to the phenomenon that close proximity to water increases calm, relaxation, creative thought, and improved sleep. I’m guessing I have spent at least 30 summer vacations at Table Rock Lake and it never, ever gets old. It’s one of my happiest places on earth because of the memories created here as well as the peace that washes over me when I see that first glimpse of the lake. I literally smile every time I look out the window and see the beauty of the water. Since I had loved Lake Charlevoix in Michigan so much, I was a little worried Table Rock Lake might be disappointing. It turns out I had absolutely nothing to fear. The beauty, even when I arrived in late January, was breathtaking. The steep hills provided a more challenging walk, and the words flowed even more easily and consistently. And it’s close enough I even got to see friends and family a few times through the months I was writing.

“When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.” The Dalai Lama

If you’ve been to a church wedding, it’s likely you’ve heard 1 Corinthians 13:13 (NIV), “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

One morning I woke up and recorded these thoughts on my phone. I can only thoughtfully and prayerfully consider the reckless kind of love I see now. The type of love that is truly given without the promise of anything in return. The type of love that is more concerned with another’s safety than my own. The type of love that is unwavering, steadfastly confident. The type of love that simply is. That just exists for no other purpose than to be there silently holding up another from a distance. Lovingly, thoughtfully, reverently. That is the type of love that changes the world. There came a time when I had to stop thinking about what was in my heart and soul and begin to allow myself to simply feel it. In the same way, I had to stop worrying about what the future held and just start giving the love without the thought of receiving anything at all.

Grateful.

And that is when I found peace. That is when I could just soak it all in and at the same time let it all go.

Release and receive. Ahhhhh, that’s it. Release worry and fear. Receive acceptance and love.

To me, relationships and love are closely related but are really two different things.

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