Brave Enough To Be Bliss

The manager of the pool where I worked asked if she could come in. Being the always compliant person I was, I said of course and let her in. We sat on the couch, and she asked me if I had thoughts of or plans to kill myself. I didn’t lie and said yes, I had planned to the night before, but wasn’t successful. She asked where my mom was and then said she was going to have to call her. Following is a copy of the Facebook Messenger communication I had with Vrenda Pritchard. I had been friends with her on Facebook since June 2014, but the only Facebook communication we had prior to this was when she wished me happy birthday on my page in 2017. She doesn’t have photos of herself on her Facebook page , so while I recognized the name and knew she was from my hometown, I was having trouble remembering her. When I saw her name pop up through the years, though, it began to feel like maybe she had been the one to recognize my depression and must have been the pool manager. One morning I woke up with the courage to reach out to her. Not knowing for sure if she had been the one, I tried to phrase things in a way that wouldn’t freak someone out if it wasn’t the right person. Ginger Bliss sent, 8/5/22: Good morning! While my memory of that time period is sketchy at best, I believe you may have been the person who noticed I was very sad and cared enough to check on me one morning to see if I was safe. If that was you, I wanted to say thank you for saving my life. It has taken three decades to actually get to the point where I truly want to live for myself, so my sincere apologies for the much overdue gratitude.

Vrenda: You are so welcome, Ginger! What a beautiful person you have become. So proud of you.

Ginger Bliss: I’m so glad I took the chance that it was you and reached out as I’ve been wondering for some time now. Apparently, the way my brain blocked a bad memory (the rape), it also had to block the good memories of many wonderful people who were in my life back then. I’m trying to recover some of that now that I’ve fully remembered and worked through the bad memory. Thank you for the kind words today and back then for noticing, caring, and taking the time to come check on me. I always enjoy your posts and think we must have similar hearts which is probably why yours noticed when mine was hurting. Not everyone has the courage to do what you did, so thank you. Would you mind if I included you by name on the dedication page of my book?

Vrenda: I would love that. I am so glad you are still a part of my life. Even if it is via Facebook.

Following this communication, we had more interaction on each other’s posts through Facebook, but that was it until I was enjoying a happy hour with Lynda, a former high school classmate and treasured friend. We were talking about that summer in 1986 and I was explaining what happened that night, or so I thought. When I mentioned Vrenda being the pool manager, Lynda (who was also a lifeguard although I had forgotten that too) gently said she didn’t think Vrenda had anything to do with the pool. I was very confused about that because I couldn’t think how else I would have known her. Lynda suggested I reach out to her and ask. Vrenda lived only about an hour from where I would be staying with Mom Sherri in a couple weeks, so I told Lynda I would contact Vrenda and see if we could get together in person. I would then be able to figure out what the real connection was so I could write about it accurately in this book. The following was our Facebook Messenger communication. Ginger Bliss sent, Jan 5, 2024, 9:52 PM : Hi there! How are you? I hope you had a wonderful holiday season! I'm going to be staying about an hour from you for an extended family Christmas the weekend of 1/20. I'm planning to head that way either the evening of 1/17 or 1/18. I wondered if you'd have any availability to get together 1/18, 1/19 or 1/22. I would love to treat you to breakfast, lunch, happy hour or dinner! Since my memory isn't very clear about much the last time we were together, I wanted to chat with you about that timeframe and see if you'd be willing to share what led you to come by that morning. I want to tell the story with some accuracy and I'm not sure I can without your input. It would also be great to know and to share in the book what led you to think I might hurt myself and specifically to come by the morning you did. I met Lynda for happy hour this evening and there were so many things she talked about that I just don't have any memory of, so since I am going to be so close to you, I thought if you'd be open to it, I'd love to see you and chat! If you'd rather not or are too busy during that timeframe, I will understand but at least had to ask. If you're open to it, please let me know a day, time and location that is convenient for you, and I'll be there and will be so excited to see you! Enjoy the weekend and I'll look forward to hearing from you either way!

Vrenda: I would love to take some time and chat. 1/18 evening would work best. We could meet on the west side. Let me think of a few places where we could talk without too much noise. I'm excited!

Ginger Bliss: Wonderful!! I'll plan on it and just let me know time and place whenever you decide, no rush. I'm so excited too!

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