Brave Enough To Be Bliss

(Author’s note : T here were some quite descriptive flirtatious references here, so didn’t think anyone needed to know us quite that intimately…but it’s referencing the fact we didn’t have sex even though he spent the nigh t recently.)

JV: “Couldn’t” inaccurate

GB: Couldn’t is accurate for me. I “couldn’t” have you AND take care of me that night…when I have you again it will be because we are at a place where we can talk and laugh and eat and drink together etc. AND make love all night AND still feel safe with each o ther in the morning. It’s the stuff before making love that creates the safety. I’m working on my nervous system, but it need s consistency. That’s why when we worked here and during early Covid days it was the best, we consistently spent time together doing all those things not just having sex. We’ve had the best sex of our lives together, we know we can do that really well, so the only question is, can we learn to do the rest well to take the sex to a level I cannot even imagine, but would love to experience. But we sure could mess around up to that line while we practice the rest, no pressure, just sayin ’… Hey, question for you…do you remember texting me something about the song, Cake by the Ocean , after you had been over when I lived in Overland Park ? Funny thing, it just came up randomly after a playlist, hadn’t heard it in years. I looked at the lyrics this time. Did you intend for that to be a hint at me being cautious, timid, holding back and that you would’ve lived dangerously and wanted more tha n sex? Back then if lyrics were available, I didn’t know yet. And I really didn’t understand what they were s aying when I just listened to the song. I didn’t even know what cake by the ocean was, so I asked our friend, and she said sex. So, I remember being confused in the context of whatever you said, but eventually I just thought whatever you said was about liking sex with me, so I deduced that’s all you wanted me for. So, I’m just curious if that was a misunderstanding on my part? If so, I think it’s a book worthy mention of how I impacted the trajectory of a relationship based on misunderstandings. I mean I’m sure I could give a whole book’s worth of examples, but since it randomly came up like so much book stuff does, I just had to ask. If it just w as a sex reference, it still is a good example for me that I should have just said, I’m confused can you explain that? Then I could have explained how it made me feel and that it was a sensitive subject and that I was only having sex because I really cared about you. Are you realizing now how f***** up my brain was, or did you know all along and were just nice to me anyway? ❤️ While I was trying to lighten up a heavy topic of how messed up my thinking was, in reality, I am so glad I can look back at myself with compassion for not knowing then what I know now. I’m not going to apologize (you don’t accept them anyway), I’m just goi ng to say thank you for hanging in there with me all those years and helping me eventually learn so much. I think I can help other people by being vulnerable enough to share how I made mistakes and to encourage them to keep growing and to be open to all the beautiful, kind souls that exist in this world if we would all just be real and share our hearts instead of our minds. ❤️

I didn’t receive an answer to the song question , but the following are a few of the verses and it seems pretty clear now what he was trying to say.

Oh, no See you walking round like it's a funeral Not so serious, girl, why those feet cold? We just getting started, don't you tiptoe, tiptoe,

Waste time with a masterpiece, don't waste time with a masterpiece You should be rolling with me, you should be rolling with me You're a real-life fantasy, you're a real-life fantasy But you're moving so carefully, let's start living dangerously

Talk to me, baby I'm going blind from this sweet, sweet craving Let's lose our minds and go f****** crazy I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean Walk for me, baby I'll be Diddy, you'll be Naomi, Let's lose our minds and go f****** crazy I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean

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