Brave Enough To Be Bliss

Chapter 2 — A Literal Awakening Chapter Dedication: Matthew Langford Perry, August 19, 1969 - October 28, 2023

“Nothing is more important than empathy for another human being’s suffering. Nothing. Not career, not wealth, not intelligence, certainly not status. We have to feel for one another if we’re going to survive with dignity.” Audrey Hepburn It may seem strange to dedicate a chapter of this book to Matthew Perry when I certainly didn’t ever know him personally. When I heard about his death, I wrote his name down in my phone curious to learn more about his struggle in case it had any significance to the book. So, when I got to that note over a year later, I searched his name and found out more about him, and it made me wish I had known him so I could give him a great big hug. Those of us who aren’t famous look at those who are and sometimes they don’t even seem real, human. Years ago, I would have had thoughts like, “Why couldn’t he just get it together? He had all the money he needed to get help. People love him, why did he throw his life away?” I’m not proud I had those thoughts about other famous people when similar situations happened in the past, but it’s real and I’m human and I simply didn’t know better at the time. It was quick and easy to judge without taking the time to really think about the human instead of the famous person. Nothing eases pain except healing, regardless of what we want to think about something else being able to take it away (money, fame, fortune, the right job, the right spouse, etc.). Famous humans are no different in this way than any other human: we avoid pain until we heal. Healing is hard, or everyone would be doing it, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it, people just have to get to the point where it’s worth it to them. It appears from reading online anyway, that he didn’t get there before too much physical damage was done. Millions and millions of people have watched the television series “Friends.” Millions and millions of people will remember Matthew Perry as a member of that show’s cast, but when I read this quote online, it hit me how much we have it all wrong. While I h aven’t watched many episodes of the show, I have learned to enjoy laughing as much as anyone, but the fact that we are still heralding him for his acting on the show instead of the good he did for humanity, just doesn’t seem right, especially when that’s w hat he actually wished for. I read the following about him and it hurt my heart. “I've had a lot of ups and downs in my life. I'm still working through it personally, but the best thing about me is that if an alcoholic or drug addict comes up to me and says, 'Will you help me?' I will always say, 'Yes, I know how to do that. I will do that for you, even if I can't always do it for myself! So, I do that, whenever I can. In groups, or one on one. And I created the Perry House in Malibu, a sober-living facility for men. I also wrote my play The End of Longing, which is a personal message to the world, an exaggerated form of me as a drunk. I had something important to say to people like me, and to people who love people like me. When I die, I know people will talk about Friends, Friends, Friends. And I'm glad of that, happy I’ve done some solid work as an actor, as well as given people multiple chances to make fun of my struggles on the world wide web... but when I die, as far as my so-called accomplishments go, it would be nice if Friends were listed far behind the things I did to try to help other people. I know it won't happen, but it would be nice." It ’ s too late for me to tell him personally, but the good he did is what I will remember about him, and I applaud his efforts to help other hurting humans much louder than his acting. So, I’m hoping that sharing his story will have a ripple effect and others will join me in remembering him in the way he wanted us to. I t’s not much but dedicating this chapter to him is what I could still do to honor his memory.

“Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.” John Wesley

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