Brave Enough To Be Bliss

came in that shut down the opportunity to paddle board the rest of the afternoon and the rest of my stay there. I realized I missed talking and most of all laughing with my friends and family, and while I now know I “can” travel alone it’s way more fun wit h others. I realized I was much more comfortable sending Annette the previously dreaded selfies. 2021: Now I am just beginning to live bravely by my own definition. To do all the things I want to do regardless of how well I can do them, to say all the things I want to say regardless of who is listening and how they will react, to eat the things I want to eat regardless of what anyone else is eating, to feel all the joy and shed all the tears regardless of how long it may last.

When I looked at these most recent photos, I saw more joy than pain or fear in this woman. For the first time in my life, I d idn’t look for the flaws or feel the usual disgust. For the first time in my life, I was happy she was me...and happy to be 53.

What advice would you give your younger self? I would tell anyone, regardless of age, not to be scared to do the hard work of understanding how your brain works, why it works that way and how it affects your behavior, to learn self-compassion, to face pain and work through it instead of running from it, to ask questions instead of making up answers for others in your mind, to understand everyone struggles and has pain whether they talk about it or not, to understand a thought is just that and you have the power to believe it or not.

“And I said to my body, softly, ‘I want to be your friend.’ It took a long breath, and replied, ‘I have been waiting my whole life for this.’” Nayyirah Waheed

You might think that was a wrap on birthday week but think again.

I rested for a couple hours, rinsed off quickly just standing in the bathtub since I didn’t want to wash my hair because I was in hurry with a lot of errands to run that day. I followed up with Mack and said it would work best if we could meet at the Phoenix on Saturday evening. I decided I felt more comfortable that way so I could get to know him a bit more before going to dinner somewhere I might not be familiar with. I was remembering what happened with Scott, so I just wanted to take it slow and make sure that wouldn’t happen again. I was pretty confident it wouldn’t but figured it couldn’t hurt to be more comfortable. I was checking in to tan after getting all my errands taken care of at about 3:30 p.m. when Kylee called, asking if I wanted to meet her at The Phoenix for happy hour. I hesitated for a second thinking about how I looked, but then said sure, why not. After tanning I was now smelly as well as messy in shorts and a t-shirt having not planned on doing anything except errands. B ut by this point in the week, it didn’t matter to me at all. We were having a good time talking and laughing, with great music, a drink, and an appetizer to snack on. About an hour after we’d been there, a man came up to our table and introduced himself, saying, “I was with my friends a couple tables over and noticed you looking like you were having a lot of fun, so if you’d like to get acquainted sometime give me a call.” He handed me a small piece of paper with his phone number and his name, Chance. Saturday afternoon I exchanged a few texts with Mack and then I remembered him saying something the other night about always finding the prettiest girl in the place. I knew I would arrive after him, and I was nervous about walking in by myself. There were always big crowds on Saturdays compared to Tuesdays which is why I

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