Brave Enough To Be Bliss

When I got home, I started looking at emails and fully read the one from Allen. He had told me he would be in town on Thursday and wanted to know if we could catch up or something to that effect. I said it was my birthday, so I had taken the day off and apologized for the delayed response. I asked what time he was thinking because I was pretty booked all the next day catching up and then my colleagues were taking me out for a birthday happy hour. He responded he was free all evening. I thought, hmmm, that’s different, I was sure he meant he wanted to come by the office during the day. There were times when I thought perhaps, he was flirting with me, but because of the age difference, I thought I must be making it up in my mind. I said I’d plan to see him after happy hour, and he could text me when he got into town and we could work out the details. At work that morning, I had seen an email about a recent shooting at one of the hotels in the area. I knew the place because it wasn’t too far away from where I worked, so it caught my attention. I remembered Allen had said he asked his assistant to make him a hotel reservation in that part of town since he was familiar with it. In my mind, I hoped that wasn’t the hotel his assistant booked. He sent me a text mid-afternoon that he had finished his work and was heading to the hotel. We were sending texts back and forth about where to meet and then he called. I answered and he said he had just pulled up at his hotel and there were police all around there. I asked where he was and of course, it was the hotel I had just read about earlier that day. I sent him the email about it as I couldn’t believe the coincidence. We decided on the restaurant to meet at, which was very near my house and his hotel. Later he sent me a text that he had decided to go to a movie later that night . I wasn’t sure if that was a hint to see if I wanted to go or not, but I decided what the heck, it’s still around my birthday, I’ll just say if he wants to get me a ticket I’d join him. He sounded excited and said he would. It had been several months since I had seen him, so I was a little nervous about walking in, not sure if I’d immediately recognize him but he recognized me and stood up, so we hugged and then had a drink before the movie. The theatre was close by, so we just walked there. I was having a great time and was very relaxed, enjoying every minute and not worrying about anything, not thinking about anything, just being present in the moment. Ginger would be so proud of me. All the hard work, all the lessons were paying off and I was just in the moment, happy and living life. We got something to drink and sat down in the theatre and chatted some more. And then the lights went down, and the previews started. Remember, I’m exactly 54 years and one day old and I can vividly remember thinking, it feels like he’s going to reach over and hold my hand. It was something that seemed like it should be happening to a teenager, but it was me and it was my birthday, and odd things had been happening, so I just giggled at myself inside and decided to go with it. And as expected, shortly after that he reached over and held my hand. By this time, it was clear that I hadn’t been wrong about the flirting, and we were up close and personal, so I figured the age difference certainly didn’t seem to be making me unattractive to him. We had been teasing throughout the evening about the questionable safety of his hotel for that night, so as we were leaving and he was going to drop me by my house, I told him since Kylee didn’t live there anymore, I had an extra room available, if he preferred to stay there for his safety. He had checked in after the police left, so we went by the hotel, and he got his bag, and we headed to my house. Initially I was planning on him staying in Kylee’s room, but then while he was getting his bag, I started thinking. John had moved on, so why couldn’t I? I had hoped all these years that we would get together, but it clearly wasn’t going to happen, so I decided to just go with whatever happened and for once in my life, not think, just enjoy the present moment for whatever it was. All these months getting acquainted with him I had really enjoyed the person he was and the fact he was young and handsome and very well built, and yet somehow still attracted to me, was a bit intoxicating, even if I hadn’t had any rum to drink earlier. He got very little sleep and had to leave early the next morning for a meeting several hours away. He took a shower downstairs so I could rest but came back up and was very sweet before he left. I didn’t feel badly at all when he left, which was quite refreshing. As I thought back on the night with him, I quickly realized I wasn’t in

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