Brave Enough To Be Bliss

Michael Jackson: as an expert in child sexual abuse here’s what I thought when I watched Leaving Neverland (theconversation.com)

And yet even without knowing him personally, it seems pretty clear that Michael Jackson was a very hurt and lonely person, and he didn’t appear to have healed from a childhood that clearly left him scarred as a human being. That, of course, is absolutely no excuse for abusing children or hurting anyone. He is sadly not alone, and this is not an isolated incident. I so wish that were the case. But it is not and until we all face that sad fact, childhood sexual abuse will continue to be pushed under the rug so we can continue pretending it only happens to other people , so we don’ t have to fear for our own children. That’s why disclosure is so important. Real, hurting human beings ’ lives are on the line while many of us sit by in quiet acceptance. This leaves perpetrators free to continue hurting people, and more pain ripples through our society.

Joe Karlin's son, Tom Karlin, died by suicide his senior year of high school. Joe created a Foundation in his son's memory that awarded Kylee a college scholarship. Kylee and I had the chance to get acquainted with Joe and his wife at a dinner for all of the scholarship recipients. Following the dinner, Joe was kind enough to meet with me for a networking coffee since I was unemployed at the time. Through the conversation, I ended up volunteering to help him tweak the presentation he gave to high school kids about teen suicide. Prior to that time, he hadn't publicly disclosed the reason behind his son’s suicide . I vividly remember Joe asking me if he should share that piece of the story in his presenta tions and it was one of the rare times I didn’t think before answering and simply said an emphatic, “Yes.”

The police didn't immediately share the note with Joe and his wife; instead they allowed them a couple weeks to grieve the loss and then they introduced the next piece of the story. Tom left his parents a note explaining that he had been sexually abused by someone but wasn’t any more specific about who it was. His son hadn’t told anyone anything about the abuse prior to the note. After I started working again, Joe and I had limited contact until I reached out to see if we could meet for coffee in 2021. I had seen a message on Facebook he posted exactly 10 years after his son’s death , where he shared that his family had found peace (the post will be shared later in this book). The connection with Joe is just another example of how people can come into our lives, and we never know the impact they can ultimately have on us or someone else we may know. But when we are brave enough to share our hearts with one another, amazing and life-changing connections can be made. Shortly after we met in 2021, I had a Facebook friend who shared information about a documentary available on Netflix featuring six male survivors of childhood sexual assault, so I watched it and then sent this email to Joe.

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