Brave Enough To Be Bliss

Over time, I didn’t even realize they were still down there. It was n’t the constant effort it began as. It was then that things in my mind got very quiet, and I could sit still, and eventually could learn to relax.

I ran across something on Pinterest or Instagram that included a list of things to do once a month. I couldn’t find the exact screenshot that inspired me, but I do remember it included the instruction to spend one day alone, and also had suggestions for kind things one could do for oneself during that day, like take a walk, get a massage, take a nap, get an ice cream cone, etc.

“Do it , and then you will feel motivated to do it.” Zig Ziglar

At the time I began this monthly exercise, I didn’t do nice things for myself because doing nice things for other people felt much better to me. But this commitment is how I started. It’s similar to how I started regularly exercising 20 years ago. I read somewhere that I should just walk 10 minutes and if you want to quit after that, you can and not beat yourself up for it. And of course, after 10 minutes, I would feel better, and I would keep walking. Walking led to jogging and then running, because I had enjoyed running when I was younger. Walking alone is good, so I could have left it there, I just truly found joy in running. Any movement is the point, so even on nights when I felt too tired, I still used the 10-minute rule, and there were a couple times I did stop at 10 minutes. Although in all those years, there have only been a few times. I stopped worrying about achieving a goal or doing more than I did before or anything except simply feeling better mentally and physically. I stopped treating exercise as punishment for eating and began treating it as an investment in how I felt about myself, first physically, but then I realized it was actually more important mentally. Exercise was my alone time. It was the time I could spend not taking care of anyone else, just me. And I think that is what allowed me to enter into this once-a-month self-care in the same way. It was a commitment to do things that were new for me, and it felt achievable because all I had to do was try, and that would be enough to count. But I quickly learned these activities felt good so I actually wanted to do them, and they just became a new way of living. Then I saw another suggestion: once a month, invite someone you ’ve never socialized with before to do something. It felt scary at first, because what if they said no? But I did it anyway, and in the first six months, not a single person said no. In fact, they all acted so excited that I had asked them and actually thanked me for reaching out. I shared with them how hard it had been for me to ask and through the experience gained confidence, new friendships, new perspectives, tried new restaurants, etc. What had been scary at first led to all kinds of positive experiences. And like everything else I committed to on the list, it just became a new way of living for me, and the list was no longer necessary. I learned that I enjoy meeting new people and doing new things now. But it all started because I ran across something that inspired me. And that’s the good news about social media : the more you look for healthy things to enhance your life, the more they will appear. Social media isn’t bad in and of itself, but how we use it can be. Seek good and you will find it in social media and life.

“ The reason why so many relationships fail in this generation is because broken people are still trying to date. Healing requires isolation and most people unfortunately haven’t conquered the battle of being alone.” Cody Bret

John was much smarter and more emotionally intelligent than I was. Of course, I didn’t realize it at the time. His favorite thing to say to me was, “Slow down.” When we were talking about sad movies one time, he told me it was very cleansing to have a good cry once in a while. I remember being shocked he would say that, but I greatly respected and admired him for having done so. Now, years later, there are times when I specifically seek out a sad movie simply to have that cleansing cry.

John also told me early in our friendship that he would like to live in a peaceful, secluded area with no one around, and I remember thinking, “Why would anyone want to do that?” We were so very different at that time,

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