Brave Enough To Be Bliss

And it’s unbearable, unthinkable, and simply must be our fault because then we know the future will be ok. We will live a tortured life feeling responsible for something we did not do rather than blame the actual perpetrator because if we blame only the perpetrator then we will have to live in fear knowing we cannot control if it will ever happen again because no one actually knows for sure who the next perpetrators will be. They could be any race, any religion, any size, any gender, any career…ANY BODY…we do not know, we do not have control. It is life and it is hard and sometimes it is unfathomably painful and awful. But what we do have control over is loving ourselves and each other through the unfathomably painful and awful to gain a sense of control that no matter what happens that is out of our control, we can have again, or we can find for the first-time love, support, safety, and fulfillment. The key though is to understand it is the one or two or however many people who physically violated you or your loved one, those are the responsible people and that is where ALL the blame belongs. On November 12, 2021, 3:56 PM, Ginger Rothhaas wrote: That 5:00am writing is freaking amazing. If the hard conversation led to that amazing writing on fault, then it was what you needed to have the profound perspective. You are definitely in a writing zone with God, these are exactly the words people need to read. “Do not be dismayed by the brokenness in the world. All things break. And all things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So, go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.” L. R. Knost Ok, I said this to your sister a couple weeks ago one time joking that you should edit my book because I told her you would edit the stuff I wrote at work and you always made it better even though it sort of pissed me off at the time. Then I couldn’t take fe edback, now I’m asking for it. That’s it! Will you please edit my book, John? Not when it’s finished, but as I write it? Like maybe a chapter at a time so it doesn’t become too big a task and so that I learn from you how to write more succinctly, with more impact, and maybe less scary as I go? You are the perfect person to give me the perspective of a person who is scared to feel all the realness of life but wants to learn how to go within and find joy. Who doesn’t want that, to be happy? That’s my challenge, how to reach people, how to draw them in just far enough, but not too far that they’ll stop reading altogether. How do we make them comfortably uncomfortable, intrigued enough, so they’ll figure their shit out and become better humans, improve their relationships, not be so judgmental of people who are different from them, see the good but be aware of the bad and not let it overwhelm them? My mind is spinning but I can see so much good coming from a collaboration with you. And we have always worked well together, we know that. In the book preface I use the phrase that sharing all this is “terrifyingly vulnerable,” and thinking of someone reading it w ho I know as well as you could be scary, but it’s not because I’ve already been terrifyingly vulnerable with you all this time. I’v e been sharing my writing with you as I’ve gone through all I’ve been through. It’s as though all I’ve been writing to you all these years was preparing us for this. It’s all coming together now in my mind. You are the perspective I do not have that could make sure I write it so it will be read. I have the concept and the heart and some of the words, but you have the real target reader perspective and brevity to make sure it gets read. So, I don’t lose them like I lose you sometimes when it’s too long or too much. But I’m going to push you in places where I disagree or feel led or feel passionate. We are going to have differences of opinion, and we may get mad at each other, and it may take a little while to get to the exact right words, but we have already proven we do grace well and we trust each other and that is what will lead us to the right place in the end. You will know it’s the right place when it makes you uncomfortable, but don’t stop working with me . That will be the sweet spot. I can’t get there on my own. I need you to make this work. I think this is what everything we’ve been through has led us to. I can’t guarantee you’ll get rich from the book sales, but I can guarantee we will have accomplished something amazing from the experience and will have a kick ass book in the end we can be proud of. Will you please work with me? On Tuesday, November 16, 2021, 2:49 AM, Ginger Bliss wrote: Oh my God, and that’s not a bad thing to say…I’m truly in awe. I just woke up and another epiphany…

183