Brave Enough To Be Bliss

It doesn’t sound like this will cause you any issues with most interpersonal relationships...your girlfriends, business assoc iates or meeting people in a controlled environment. But I understand getting out of an Uber by yourself downtown meeting a guy you barely know for dinner who has the same name as this perpetrator guy that assaulted you, could trigger you into a cycle of remembering previous trauma and lead to an unpleasant dinner. This past trauma will make it a real challenge for you to get comfortable and trust a guy in a relationship. I agree the best thing you can do is take care of yourself. When the time is right, just be friends for a good while with any guy you might be interested in (preferably not named Scott) and take your time getting connected to feel a sweet and safe spot. It will take work and no doubt a leap of faith, but you can get there if you want.

It should be organic, however, so I wouldn’t recommend trying to put a square in a round hole. That square could be any guy w ith the name Scott.

You don’t need a guy; just gotta figure out for yourself if you really want a guy. Hey, consider me a friend and keep in touch as you wish. Welcome back to KC and take care of yourself first and foremost.

If there was ever a time I felt the exact right person was placed in my path, it was with this Scott. The way he handled the whole situation couldn’t have been any more perfect for what I needed . He responded with kindness, compassion, sensitivity, caring, understanding and the list could go on and on. He said everything I needed to be able to focus on my feelings instead of worrying if I had unintentionally hurt someone else’s .

I forwarded Ginger the text I sent to Scott, along with his response.

On Thursday, April 22, 2021, 07:26:00 AM, Ginger Rothhaas wrote: That is beautiful! Well done!

From: Ginger Bliss To: Ginger Rothhaas Thu, Apr 22, 2021 at 8:44 AM

Thank you. I definitely felt better just being honest. Even if he hadn't reacted positively, I felt it was good for me to be honest even if it made me vulnerable. It helped me stop beating myself up for my behavior Wednesday. And I just realized I didn't apologize which I think is huge for me. I used to apologize for everything, even when I had no business apologizing and nothing to be sorry for. Honestly, I didn't walk out on him, so really no apology is necessary. It was amazing actually that I was able to be pleasant and clearly he didn't even notice anything since he had still contacted me right away when I got back from vacation. So, I'm glad I didn't apologize, it was just what it was, I explained it and that was enough. I don't have to apologize for being me to anyone anymore. I'm glad we conversed and can be friends. I received an email from the EMDR therapist this morning, so will try to get connected with her today. And the sun is shining, even if not warm, so it's going to be a good day. Hope you have one as well! Can't thank you enough for everything.

I shared with Ginger my text to a friend who knew what had happened on the date with Scott. I was replying to my friend who had asked how I was doing, and I was honestly able to tell her this.

On Saturday, April 24, 2021 at 8:59 PM, Ginger Bliss wrote: I feel better because I decided to stop punishing myself for not being past it, to give myself a break for freaking out, to try to look at myself with eyes of compassion instead of hatred, to allow the tears to fall so I don’ t go all the way back down the mountain, to remember what Ginger and you have taught me, to be brave and not let the memories take me back down a path of self-hate and punishment physically and mentally, to do something positive for myself. I spent the past week punishing myself and burying feelings with food, so I went to Sam’s and the grocery store and bought food that is good for me, that sounds good, that tastes fresh and flavorful and to stop treating myself like I am not worthy of effort and expense. So, I cooked something when I got home and it was delicious. I lit my big oil candle, I turned up music I love really loud, I sang along, I cleaned fruit, cleaned out old crappy food, got lunch ready for tomorrow, etc. Ginger, thank you very much for your guidance last week. I really appreciate it. I had to just get through the vacation, but I did have some flashbacks to details from the rape I hadn’t remembered previously. I think I understand where a couple things stem from now. Anyway, I’ll talk with you about it in person, but thought I’d share this with you, so I’d remember the details for when I do see you. Thank you again for your support. ❤️ Something that helped explain why I took such offense to Dan pushing me to take a bite of his entrée was while I was in Florida, I remembered the rapist trying to force his penis into my mouth. I was moving my head back and forth trying to keep him from it, but I was crying and between all of that it was difficult not to quickly open my mouth to try to get some air because he was sitting on my chest, and when I would make any sound he

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