Brave Enough To Be Bliss

some work on ourselves and we've naturally ironed out some of the dysfunctional parts of how we used to deal with each other. Still need to talk about some things, but way better than we used to be, I think. To be able to experience a full and happy life, however, I think it takes ongoing effort, ongoing reflection, and ongoing feedback. Life is hard, but life is worth it if we make the most of it and learn how to truly live not just survive. "Start over my darling. Be brave enough to find the life you want and courageous enough to chase it. Then start over and love yourself the way you were always meant to." Madalyn Beck I have worked with you for five years now. There is only one other job I have stayed at longer. You have been what has made my time here most enjoyable. I absolutely loved all the “good talks” we had where I learned so much about you. I have grown personally and professionally because of your feedback and advice. I laughed more and smiled more. I have rolled my eyes more and been puzzled more. I have said the word f*** more and I have actually f***** more. Sorry, that was just too fun to pass up saying. I have learned over time to be vulnerable with you. I have learned to be brave and have shared my heart and soul. You know the most painful details of my life and the most intimate details of my body. I have trusted you as completely as I have ever trusted another human being. And no matter what, I will never regret that. I am very grateful for you. I do not know what the future holds, but I do know the following. 1. I am not too much. I am not too nice. I am not too naive. I am just strong enough to continue to be kind and caring and giving and loving in a world where people tend to be less than that. These qualities are strengths, not weaknesses. Hurt people, hurt people. I chose to stop that cycle. Instead, each day I choose grace and compassion and understanding. And yes, sometimes I get used and manipulated and hurt. But that is the risk I choose to continue to take to see the best in other people and in doing so, I am also learning to see the best in myself. "Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending - to rise strong, recognize our story, and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think "Yes, this is what happened. This is my truth. And I will choose how the story ends." Brené Brown 2. I am learning (emphasis on learning) to give myself the unconditional love and compassion and grace and understanding that in the past I was only able to offer others. As a result, I will not need someone else to fill me up, I will be able to do that myself. Any relationship is simplified because I can simply receive extra love, extra grace, extra understanding, extra compassion...but if I don’t receive those things, I won’t be without, so I won’t need to be upset or disappointed or resentful. By being r esponsible for my own happiness, there's no pressure on anyone else to do that for me. Loving someone else becomes a lot less complicated because I'm responsible for me and others are responsible for themselves...and then we can simply enjoy each other without all the emotional neediness and complication that f**** up so many relationships. We can simply be each other's supporter, encourager, friend, lover, but not take the responsibility for the others' happiness and fulfillment. "Tell everyone you know: 'My happiness depends on me, so you're off the hook.' And then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they're doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel -- and then, you'll love them all. Because the only reason you don't love them, is because you're using them as your excuse to not feel good." -Abraham Hicks 5. You asked what I want on several occasions. I have wanted you in my life, simply stated. You are not easy, but you have so many wonderful qualities that I have articulated to you many times. I believe every word as wholeheartedly today as I ever have. You can also be difficult and complicated and hard to understand. Yet, you make me light up inside and outside. In general, though, I would like a fun, loving, real, and imperfect but committed relationship. I want to receive love from someone who sees my imperfections and still wants to be with me. I want someone who is proud to be with me, who respects me, who will compliment me, who adores me and my quirks, and who is also confident that I feel all those same things about him. I want someone whose eyes see beauty in me whether I'm all dressed up or in his t-shirt or naked, and who embraces me being me however I feel comfortable and doesn't want to change me. I want someone to understand me well enough to remind me that I can calm the voices in my own head when I feel insecure. I would like someone to lay down with me for a moment or rub my neck/shoulders/temples or kiss my forehead when I have a headache or feel sad. I would like someone to light candles, turn on music, tell me he loves me and make passionate love to me sometimes, and any other day or night I want his passion and fantasies. I want someone who will kiss me because he knows how much I love that connection and how it makes every ounce of me want him so desperately. I want someone who I can dance with, cry with, be frustrated with, be angry with, laugh with, have fun with, smile with, sing in the car with, travel with, talk with, be quiet with, be silly with, be serious with, be alone or be together with...just share the good, bad, and ugly of life. I don't expect someone to spend every minute with me as I need some alone time and space also, but overall, these are things that would be nice to have in a relationship. Most of all, I want someone who will be brave enough to have tough conversations and who will call me on my bullshit and allow me the same level of honesty. "You don’t need another human being to make your life complete, but let’s be honest, having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn’t see them as disasters in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world." Emery Allen 4. I have a voice and I can use it to agree or disagree or simply state my opinion or my experience. And if someone doesn’t l ike that or it makes them feel unsettled or insecure or upset, I am not responsible for their feelings or reaction. People can disagree with me, even be upset with me, and yet still love me. I do not have to be perfect to be loved. “Sometimes what you’re most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.” Robert Tew

6. All I have control over, however, is me...so primarily, I just want to keep being the most honest, most enlightened, most free, most real, happiest me that I have ever been. I know that if I do that whatever else happens will just be the icing on the cake of life.

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