Brave Enough To Be Bliss

From: Ginger Bliss To: John Subject: Early Happy Easter Date: Sat, Apr 11, 2020 at 9:56 AM To me Easter is love...unconditional, sacrificial love. The deepest, greatest love imaginable. The kind we humans rarely achieve but should be striving for if we weren’t so f****** scared. Not only romantic love, but just love in general.

You said that love is a big word. I agree with you. There’s a lot of meaning packed into those four little letters.

I have tried to model this Easter kind of love to Kylee. It’s a stretch to try to live anything after the model of Jesus, but I have at least made an attempt to love that girl that way, unconditionally, sacrificially. No matter the pain, to put her needs before my own. You know all she has suffered in her short life, but at her core, she still chooses love. She has every right to be bitter and cold and hardened...but she knows a love that is greater than all her pain and she chooses love. She showed her heart this week which I shared on Facebook the last two days and I’ve never been more proud of her. She knows that the worst thing is never the last thing from Pastor Adam. And I’ve taught her something good can always be made out of the bad if we choose it a nd make it happen by thinking of others. In other words, when we choose love and light and life.

Research hospital workers, families join in applause, waving to nurses, patients inside | FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports (fox4kc.com)

I didn’t know your mom well, but from what you’ve told me about her, I’d bet she would agree with the headline below, “Life is measured by love.” And that’s what I took away from her funeral. Her life was truly measured by love. The happy memories of h er that you’ve told me you hold on to, I know they must be measured by love. Your grandfather, when you to ld me about him and showed me the photo of you two, I know from the light in your eyes when you spoke of him, his life was measured by love. There is risk in loving and being loved, but in the end, does anything else really matter? Love, in all its forms, is what gives meaning to life. And I want my life to be measured by love. So, I am brave and believe in people and think the best of people and give all I have to give to people, because I may get a lot of things wrong in this life, but I attempt to love well.

I wish you love and light and life always.

Happy Easter, G.

Life is measured by love: Upping our love game this week (toservewell.com)

Over the past month, I periodically added to an email I started writing to you since I couldn’t talk to you.

I have loved and embraced you as you are. I have done that not because of my fuckedupedness, but simply because when I look into your eyes, I can see a part of your heart and soul that seem to need that. To know that you are not only accepted but welcomed to simply be you and be loved. "Every single person has a story that will break your heart. And if you're paying attention, many people... have a story that will bring you to your knees. Nobody rides for free." Brené Brown We have been friends; we have been lovers, and we have both been at the same time when we are both at our best. We have been doing some variation of this for nearly five years and I thought that meant we had something special, but perhaps we were only what each other needed at the time. I know that whatever is going on with you is not about me. I also know that you haven't ever completely shut me out of your life as you have now. I can understand that it may not be easy for you to go from 40 to 80 (or whatever numbers you used), but it's also not easy for me to go from 80 to zero. I feel so much empathy and compassion when I see another hurting human being that I can have extreme patience and understanding, but I have learned that I also have to have boundaries no matter how much I love someone. You have told me so much about yourself. You have been vulnerable and open, and at times very caring and giving. You have actually inspired me to be more open with how much you have shared with me. When you have talked to me and shared things, I can visibly see you leave the room less burdened than when you entered it. I know you probably cannot see it, but I do. There is a light or darkness in your eyes that I see clearly based on how you're feeling. Your eyes always avert mine when you are not feeling good. It's as though you don't want me to see what you're thinking or feeling, so you not only avoid eye contact, but you avoid me completely. I understand the need for time and space and feel like I've learned to leave you alone pretty well during these times. You do not share your feelings about me with me unless you're drinking. No matter what it is, you rarely talk about those feelings. Whether it's I'm mad at you, I'm frustrated with you, I adore you, I'm worried about you, I miss you, I'm lonely, I need you, I want you, I love you, or you look great...you don't say the words. I have told you that words are important to me on more than one occasion. You know that I use words very carefully, so if I say them, I mean them. And maybe that's why you don't, you don't feel them. I don't know what to think because your actions say one thing, but you don't use words and I trust words, so I'm left at these times with nothing to carry me through. I deserve someone who isn't scared to love me and there's someone who won't be. If you want it to be you, you're going to have to step up because I am now willing to lose whatever it is we have to get something better that we both deserve.

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