Brave Enough To Be Bliss

“Most of us live our lives by accident—we live as it happens. Fulfillment comes when we live our lives on purpose.” Simon Sinek

The past couple of years had been so full of very heavy emotions that initially I felt mainly relief that she had made it to the point where she could be safe on her own. I knew I was fortunate she’d only be a few minutes away and she did ask me to come over frequently, but there were times when I didn’t quite know what to do with myself now that all I had to think about was me. I was grateful I had done so much work with Ginger, though, or it would have hit a lot harder. I remember having a text conversation with one of my aunts that made me realize it was normal to have mixed feelings, so I chose to embrace this new level of freedom for all it was worth and simply be grateful she had her people and her new life, and I would try to make the most of mine too. I was learning how to invest in myself, identifying what I liked to do and eat, going to new places around town and trying new things, and being much more kind to myself along the way. On Aug 31, 2019, at 2:31 AM, Ginger Bliss wrote: I decided at the last minute to take my alone trip next week. For work I really needed to get it in, or it wasn't going to happen. Could we reschedule the appt? The next available Friday morning would be great! Hope you had a great week and enjoy the long weekend! On Saturday, August 31, 2019, 7:04 AM, Ginger Rothhaas wrote: That is wonderful that you are making your alone trip happen!!! We absolutely can move our time. The 20th is great! I’m so pr oud of you for making this trip a priority! As I recall, my flight arrived mid-morning and I was on my way to Sedona by noon. I thought about many things on the drive there. I remembered when John sent me a flirty email saying he was going to miss me, and how I responded to him asking if it was a mistake and intended for someone else. I thought about why I had done that, why I had been scared by the very thing I had longed for. Why was my first response to something good, always something to push him away? In that moment, it seemed like the appropriate things to say, but then after I said it, I would realize it was exactly the wrong thing to say. B ut by then, I couldn’t undo it. I didn’t understand it, but at least by this point I could have compassion for it and know it was just something I still had to figure out: that automatic negative response to something good. I also thought back to all the fall breaks and spring breaks with my family in Arizona and all the good times we had together. The favorite restaurants, the favorite activities, the traditions we made over the course of the years spent there. And then I th ought about how it wasn’t the same when Kylee and I came back by ourselves and how different that felt, but how after several trips, we found some new favorites to enjoy along with the old and how that helped create a new reality without giving up the past. And that felt right. Peaceful. There are so many great sports movies I love it would be hard to pick a favorite, but I think if I absolutely had to pick an all- time favorite movie, it’s A Star Is Born with Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper. I’ve seen it a number of times. When I find someone who hasn’t seen it, I always offer to watch it with them hoping they’ll say yes so, I have an excuse to watch it again. I love the music; I love their chemistry, and I guess I just love how real it is. Spoiler alert, although I think it’s pretty widely known how the movie ends…but I realize some people will wonder about it being my favorite because it has a sad ending, and I’ve wondered about that too. I guess I just feel like I can relate so well to what they’re feeling. So, despite the sad ending, I see even more the love, joy and hope they found in each other. So, at the end of the movie, I cry bittersweet tears…and still look forward to the nex t time I find someone who hasn’t seen it. While I had been to the Pheonix, Ariz. area many times, I hadn’t ever driven to Sedona. I had heard it was beautiful, so I decided on this trip, I would make the two-hour drive and see what it was about.

130