Brave Enough To Be Bliss

Chapter 8 — Food = Life

“Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you who you are.” Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

If Jean was going to tell me who I was after reading this chapter, I am quite positive it wouldn’t be good. You’ll understand shortly. While food was something already on Ginger’s radar for us to discuss, seeing this email may have made it a higher priority to tackle.

From: Ginger Bliss To: Ginger Rothhaas Wed, Nov 7, 2018 at 7:25 PM Heart failure patients may not need to follow a low-salt diet, study suggests

When I read this headline, it made me remember when I was 12 and had moved to a new town where my grandparents lived after my parents got a divorce (summer after my sixth-grade year) so we could live with them until my mom could find a job, get a place for us to live, etc. My grandpa had a heart attack and was told he couldn't eat salt. I can vividly remember deciding right then not to use salt at all because then I wouldn't miss it if one day I had a heart attack. Seems ridiculous for a 12-year-old to think that...but probably is quite telling about my way of thinking. “A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, oft en for years.” Byron Katie Listening to Byron Katie’s book, Loving What Is , was very helpful as we moved into tackling my relationship with food. While not always fun or easy to do because it showed me how much I made up in my mind, her process of inquiry was one of the most important tools for me to realize when I wasn’t seeing things accurately . In the following link, she provides a three-part exercise I highly recommend trying. The second part of the exercise has a video that demonstrates the process of inquiry that helped me think through and learn so much about myself. There would be many future conversations about food, but this was the breakthrough one. In early December, Ginger gave me the assignment to write about food because I had made multiple comments about feeling fat, needing to exercise, not wanting to do things with people fearing my eating would become an issue, etc. She noted early on we would get to that subject but had focused on other more basic issues first, which made complete sense because those behaviors were behind the food issue too. She said I needed to write whatever came to my mind, not edit it, or hold back anything. I was to write whatever came to mind when I thought about food. That was the full extent of the instruction. And as it turns out, for someone who didn’t really like to eat, I had a lot to say about food. The Work of Byron Katie Food In general, I don't like food. I don't like the thought of food. I don't like the look of food. I don't like to smell food. I don't like the taste of much food. I look at food as a necessary evil of sorts. You must eat enough of it to survive, but beyond that it doesn't do anything but bad things if you eat more than you should. I especially dislike seafood because to me it stinks. It makes me nauseated to smell it. I don't want to eat anything if I must smell it. I also hate the smell of fajitas. In a Mexican restaurant I want to gag if they walk by with fajitas. I don't like strong smells or flavors. I despise anything that leaves a lasting taste in my mouth. The only things I like are breads (dry, no butter...once in a while strawberry jam, but only strawberry no other flavors). I don't like a light and airy bread, only a heavier bread. I really only like plain white bread or some sourdough bread or these particular rolls at Capital Grille...there is a 45 calorie a slice whole wheat bread I can tolerate...but no other brown breads or other flavors, except a cinnamon bread once in a while is ok although only fresh not frozen or it has a different flavor I don't like. From: Ginger Bliss To: Ginger Rothhaas Thu, Dec 6, 2018 at 12:32 AM

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