Brave Enough To Be Bliss

Chapter 7 — Leaning Into Discomfort

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't.” Steve Maraboli

John C. Maxwell says, “People can change. Over the years I’ve discovered that people change when one or more things happen… ( All Posts • Instagram ) ▪ People change when they hurt enough that they have to. ▪ People change when they see enough that they are inspired to. ▪ People change when they learn enough that they want to. ▪ People change when they receive enough that they are able to.” Change is hard, but at least in my case, so was staying the same. I was hurt enough and inspired enough by my daughter to dig in and learn enough to keep going. Eventually, I would allow myself to receive enough to become all I was created to be. I am glad I decided to change when I did, but it would have been even better had I done it years earlier. Regardless of age, this is a sobering message delivered in the straight-shooter Brené Brown style I thoroughly enjoy. I so wish I hadn’t lived halfwa y to dead for decades before I was actually halfway to dead. Self-reflection is hard. Realizing and accepting that I was responsible for most of my suffering was the first key to progress. It is always easier to blame someone else, but I quickly learned it does no good because I have no control over anyone else in my life or in this world. And when I tried through my behaviors to control others, I hurt the relationship. I had to work hard to remind myself that I was in control of me and that was it. It wasn’t easy, but if I had not mastered that one concept, I would still be struggling. Self-reflection and accountability for my behaviors were the non-negotiable factors for me to be able to make lasting changes. And if I was going to go through this amount of pain, I sure as hell wanted to make sure the change stuck. The Armor is No Longer Serving You | Brené Brown | The Tim Ferriss Show #shorts (youtube.com)

“ Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

Another key concept for me was learning to understand, at a very high level of course, how the brain works. The header on this page says, “Inside Your Brain – Lizard (reptilian brain, brain stem/cerebellum), Mouse (mammalian brain, subcortical region), Monkey (primate/human brain, cortex). ” It was perfect for me because I like to keep things simple, so the animal references were much easier to talk about. For example, Ginger would quite frequently say, “Oh that’s OK , that was just your lizard brain.” It would have provided interesting conversations for someone to hear if they didn’t understand the concept. Suffice it to say, she kept the brain as simple as the brain could be for me and it allowed me to lean into self-compassion.

Knowing my behaviors were sometimes not my conscious decisions, but rather the patterns the brain defaulted to, gave me a way to look at myself with more compassion. It was something my brain did; it wasn’t who I was. That may or may not make sense, but it was a way for me to understand what I thought and did without blaming and hating myself even more. I could look at my brain as something that helped me function as a human being but wasn’t exactly who I was at my core. Perhaps this will help explain: I could be much more forgiving of my brain than I could if I thought it

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