Brave Enough To Be Bliss

From: Kylee To: Ginger Bliss Sun, Sep 29, 2013 at 8:34 PM

Well, there is definitely no need to feel badly about it. It is just one of those things and you can regret it but don't tear yourself up about it. You may not say it, but I definitely know where you stand with your faith, and I have learned many things from that and look up to you in many ways but in that way for sure. I do want to go to church on my own and get involved in things like that in college. Again, no need to feel bad. Of all the things you do don't pick out the one thing you feel like you didn't do right. I have had an amazing life growing up and was so blessed to be surrounded by all the people I was and given what I was. And I have you to thank for all of that. (And God, but you were the one that He put here for me, and I have to be the luckiest person ever.) Love you lots and please know that I know you have done everything you can and given everything you have to make my life the way it is, and I wouldn't want it any other way! It felt particularly special when Kylee graduated since for a couple years, we hadn’t been sure if it was going to happen on the original timeline. We had a joint party with her best friend, and it was a wonderful celebration. I made sure we got a photo of the three of us since coming from a divorced family, that’s something I had wished I had but never spoke up and asked for. I wasn’t sure if it was important to her or not, but just in case I wanted to be sure there was one. Later, she did tell me it was important to her so for any other divorced parents, no matter what the relationship is like, consider giving that gift to your children at important celebrations in their lives. It might not be needed later in life, but at young ages, I think it probably do es matter to most kids. There’s something about being able to have both your parents standing by your side that really does matter, even if only for a photo. And then perhaps if you try that, even when the relationship has been rocky, it will open your hearts enough to think about what else may be best for the kids regardless of your feelings toward one another. And then maybe one day, you will each begin to look at each other through eyes of compassion versus all the other things that happened during the marriage. In the end, you are parents for life and will be coming back together for all your children’s important life events, so it pays for everyone involved to find a way to heal. What’s done is done, but we all have a choice each and every day to become the healthiest humans we can be, so it won’t be even harder for our children to have that chance too. “Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” Marianne Williamson

When Kylee and her best friend moved into the dorm the next fall at KU, we were all there to help. I had forgotten just how small dorm rooms were, but we made it work and over time they ended up bringing a lot of stuff back home, understanding now their parents were right, and they really did n’t need that many clothes. But they also didn’t need many of the essentials the parents thought they did either, so we all learned a lesson for the next year. Not that there’s ever a really positive way to look at divorce, but I do think getting used to having her at her dad’s helped with the transition when she went to college. At first, I didn’t think it would be hard because it felt like normal to have her gone for a few days and there was so much to be done for the Foundation and that year’s Trail Run that I kept very busy through the first semester. She liked coming home whenever she could and there were also enough parent events that it really wasn’t as har d as I had anticipated. I had sold my townhome and moved into a two-bedroom apartment to save money.

“Life is short. Take the trip. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake.” Unknown

The summer before Kylee’s senior year of high school, I had made a conscious decision to create as many special memories with her as I could. While it wasn’t the most conservative financial decision at all for someone who was unemployed, I knew we would never have this kind of time together again so I wanted to make the most of it and create memories we could always treasure. I figured I could work the rest of my life and make more money, but I would never be able to spend time with her at this age again and she needed to be able to have some fun since there wasn’t much in her day -to-day life with school. She might not feel great the whole time we were gone, but she did love to travel, so I figured it was worth the risk.

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