Brave Enough To Be Bliss

Perhaps I was a bit awkward, maybe I didn’t say everything I should have or wanted to, but I stepped into the unknown and offered whatever I could to show I cared. And as I drove home, I believed that was enough. And I believed I was enough. I was scheduled to see Ginger in a few days, excited to tell her about everything that had happened, but there was still more to come. The night before the appointment with her, I was adding resources to the book when the following video randomly appeared right after one I had saved for the book. But this video quickly caught my attention, so I watched, and it touched me deeply.

What Stops Us? - Karl Martin (youtube.com)

“He is the only one who has the right to name you. He’s the only one who can tell you who you really are. He’s the only one whose commentary really counts.” Karl Martin

My name may still be Ginger Lee, but no longer will I live this life gingerly. I will not be offensive to God by playing small and silencing myself any longer. Instead, I am attempting to honor Him by having joy, sharing my dreams for the future, fully utilizing the talents bestowed upon me, listening to the nudges of the Holy Spirit, and writing this imperfectly human story of my life whether anyone chooses to read it or not. The next week as I was driving, the date September 21 came to me and I had a feeling that was the date I was to launch the book. I really didn’t like the feeling, though, because I still wanted to try to get it out in August. There had been too many delays already, so I didn’t tell anyone about it initially. I hadn’t even looked at my calendar, but when I met Vrenda for dinner on my way to Hutchinson and was telling her about all that happened, she said, “Is that date when you are going to be at the conference Jace’s mom had a feeling you needed to attend? Loo k at your calendar.” And indeed, September 21 is the Saturday of the conference. I was stunned…and worried. I didn’t have any media contacts in Washington, D.C., so that didn’t make any sense at all. But the date came to me as a feeling, so no matter what, September 21 would be the book launch date. On July 19, I looked at my phone and as I did the astrology app’s daily notification appeared, so I opened it and read, “Your capacity to love is historical.” And I said under my breath, “Thank you, God.” A message from God, or a coincidence, it doesn’t ev en matter. I am grateful, so grateful that I can now see, even when I was at my lowest, saddest, loneliest, and most hopeless, time after time after time, He was with me. I only remained in those valleys of despair because I didn’t talk with Him, and I didn’t share my burdens with humans who could help me work through them to learn how fear and controlling behaviors were hurting me more than anything else. I have finally learned that verbally expressing my thoughts and feelings is absolutely necessary in all my relationships because my voice matters in this world as much as anyone else’s. My thoughts and feelings are not right or wrong, but they are mine and I have not only a right to express them but a responsibility to myself to express them, as long as I am doing so with kindness and love. Even when others disagree with me and even when I say something wrong , that doesn’t diminish my need to express my thoughts and feelings. That is why apologies are so important. We can’t take back the words we say, but we can sincerely apologize for them. And those words that haven’t been said that should have been said decades ago, they still can be said and need to be no matter how overdue they are. All these lessons I have learned, though, came from the fact that I was able to view my soul as the one thing about myself I didn’t hate. I just couldn’t believe God created me with a bad soul, so that was the foundation I could build from.

After listening to many Simon Sinek podcasts, he typically asks guests to tell him very specifically about their happiest childhood memory at the end of the interview. After hearing it, he then summarizes his perspective of

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