Brave Enough To Be Bliss

Chapter 21 — A GB Real Ending

“Here’s what they don’t tell you—you’re never really going to figure it out. You’re never going to figure out the world, or why the things that happened to you happened, or how to ensure that your future is faultless. You’re never going to figure out how to perfect your existence, because it was never meant to be perfected. Instead, you will figure out how to move forward, day by day. You will figure out what kind of breakfast you like in the morning and what kind of people you want by your side. You will figure out the places that make your soul feel at home, and sometimes those places will be human beings. You will figure out what ignites your passion, the things that you could see yourself doing every single day for t en, or twenty, or thirty years. You’ll figure out how to say no and how to stand up for yourself. You’ll figure out how to forgive and let go. You’ll figure out exactly how you like to take your coffee. You’ll figure out how to walk away, how to heal. You’ ll figure out how to live with yourself, how to be your own companion. You’ll figure out how to be kind to even the most broken parts of yourself. See, you’ll figure out how to embrace life. How to truly accept it as it comes.” Bianca Sparacino Since I hated myself more than anyone else ever could, the decision to be GB Real with the world wasn’t a difficult one . It wasn’t what other people thought of me that held me back, it was what I wholeheartedly believed about myself that kept me trapped. I had condemned myself to a lifetime believing I was unlovable because I hated who I was. I had read and heard and talked with people who told me self-love was the key to healing, but I think I have painfully and maybe pitifully described how much I fought that and didn’t want to believe it, simply because I thought it was an impossibility. And if Ginger had insisted that be the goal, it would have been. I had to be accepted in my self-hatred before the possibility of self-love would ever become a distant possibility. And that is why I believe teaching tools of self-compassion to children is so incredibly important. There will always be pain in this world, but self-compassion leads to compassion for others and with that, we have the possibility to become people who live in a painful world but who don’t allow hurt individuals to remain alone in their misery. With compassion we can walk alongside hurt people modeling what it is to live a life that is really worth living. When we have compassion for ourselves, love, kindness, and empathy can radiate from our souls instead of being stopped by fearful thoughts that come from our scared brains. It only takes a sliver of hope, like Ginger gave me, to have the possibility of radically changing the life of a hurting human. World peace may or may not be possible, but we fear that it’s impossible, so we continue thinking and behaving in ways that support that reality. We allow fear to lead instead of love because leading with love takes far more strength and courage. So today, instead of worrying about world peace , why don’t we just start with allowing love to lead in our current interpersonal relationships? Let’s start at home in our families, then in our neighborhoods, then at work, then in our cities, and let the ripple effect of that begin and perhaps in generations to come, they will look back and be grateful we were brave enough to find our own bliss. That is the personal responsibility we can each take today that can begin to change the world.

Jesus Jones Right Here Right Now Lyrics (youtube.com)

“We must seek, above all, a world of peace; a world in which peoples dwell together in mutual respect and work together in mutual regard.” John F. Kennedy

Years back, I bawled like a baby when I watched the movie The Notebook knowing that might not be a shared love I would ever experience. I thought I was giving that type of love, but not receiving it. Now I know better and wonder if perhaps I could have had that kind of love all along if I had known how to receive it and how to love myself. In my life, I have loved three completely different men. Each one has been a gift in his own way and led me to be better able to love the next. My h usband gave me a family in so many ways…himself, Kylee, and his extended family all of whom I love dearly to this day. The man I was unfaithful with made me feel seen in my pain showing me I could still be loved in it. And John helped me learn that I could trust myself in all relationships,

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