Brave Enough To Be Bliss

words were being said with feelings behind them. But I'm real now so I'm not making stuff up anymore. And I also learned my first word in JV. No. It sounds just like a word in GB. But in JV it has a different meaning. I don't even have to understand the definition of it in JV yet, but I can speak it firmly and mean it.

I have always wanted you to feel safe and loved with me in every way, but I see now how my behavior was doing the opposite. And I was desperately seeking from you the words of what I meant to you because that's speaking GB.

The first paragraph of the chapter is this sentence in bold, " It wasn’t the act of violence, but rather the story I made up of what it meant about me, and the resulting behaviors, that ruined much of my life." I don't believe the old story anymore so those behaviors that went with it are no longer needed. I now know every part of me is a gift from God and no human being ever had the power to make any part of me less sacred. But I have also learned to trust myself, so instead of keeping my heart and soul tucked away only to be shared with you, I am now brave enough to share some of it with the world in an effort to help other hurting humans who may still be living with similar pain and some of those made-up stories. So, I'm loosening the reins on my heart and soul, and tightening them on my body because I believe every part of me is worthy of love and should be treasured.

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“The moment you accept responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you gain the power to change anything in your life.” Hal Elrod

Back in early April, I woke up several hours before my alarm. That morning, I was heading back to the lake for what I thought were the final few weeks of writing before I extended my deadline. I thought I was writing this message to John, but after finishing it, I wasn’t sure . Instead I emailed it to myself, and there it sat until I decided to include it in this book. Maybe it wasn’t as much for him, as it was a reminder to me that I can trust myself and be brave no matter what I’m facing in life. The unknown is scary when I listen to my brain, but it is exciting when I listen to my heart and soul.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Dan Millma

From: Ginger Bliss To: Ginger Bliss Subject: Good morning Sent: Wednesday, April 3, 2024 at 05:03:48 AM CDT Today I’m not running away from myself or you or anything…I’m running toward the culmination of everything I’ve learned to da te. And yet I have so much more to learn through the rest of my life however long that may be.

I’m running toward joy, fulfillment, purpose, knowledge, experience…and the unknown.

And my heart is content believing one day you will be running toward me. That for whatever reason you cannot talk to me yet, but that you are taking care of you and that’s all you can do right now. I trust that you would not intend to hurt or disrespect me in any way. I trust that you are doing the best you can each day, and that is enough. I trust that we will always be friends like you said, even when one of us needs a lot of grace and understanding. I trust myself and my knowing because I’m no longer afraid to feel whatever I feel, even when that includes some short -term painful feelings. I have no control over you or your feelings and that’s ok. I could be wrong, and we will never speak again. We could move on with our lives and this could be my last message to you since the book is about done. I don’t know anything about what you’re thinking and feeling, all I know is either way, I will be ok and that allows me to be at peace with you even if the only part of you I can have is a memory. I can hope for more, but I no longer fear any outcome, so I no longer need to try to control it. I am embracing an unknown future that will inevitably include a myriad of feelings and experiences, but I will not only survive them all, but I will also thrive because of them all. I can say that because I no longer fear any of them. I no longer feel the need to control every detail of my life, or my future and I accept I cannot control anyone except myself.

So, I am leaving this morning excited to finish this book, so I can begin fully living the rest of my life knowing it will be the best of my life.

I am now at peace knowing I am open to and excited about whatever and whomever the future may bring. My desire is to simply allow healthy friendships to grow, but I will no longer close doors because of fear in any type of relationship.

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