Brave Enough To Be Bliss

It isn’t the job, the achievements, the money, the house, or anything material that will end up mattering most to us when we look back on our lives. It will be the people and the relationships that will flash before our eyes in a tragedy or that will provide us comfort if our passing is anticipated.

“Choose courage over comfort by vitally engaging with new opportunities to learn and grow, rather than passively resigning yourself to your circumstances.” Susan David

So why don’t we teach children how to have healthy relationships? Is it because there aren’t enough healthy adults to provide that education? If so, why isn’t our priority to learn so we can do better for our children and the generations to follow? If what ultimately matters most in life is relationships, why isn’t that our highest priority? I would assert it is fear. We are afraid of emotional pain. We are afraid of the unknown, even if logically we understand the unknown could bring a healthier, more joyful life. So, we allow fear to keep us from confronting the issues that drive our behavior, creating unhealthy relationships that don't provide us with joy in the limited years we have living on this earth. Does that make any sense at all? Let me refresh your memory of the first page of this book… Life…is…hard. What if that could be the premise on which we lived our lives? What if we were honest that there will be times that are so happy, we feel like our hearts could explode and there will also be times that are so bad we literally feel like we cannot possibly survive the pain? What if we all not only accepted, but embraced, that’s the way life is and there isn’t anything wrong with that? What if we lived in the present moment and experienced the joy, the mundane, and yes even the pain, as it came? One present moment at a time. And what if when the pain came, we didn’t try to dull it by doing things that hurt us even further, and instead we simply put that much time and energy into helping ourselves and each other through the pain by extending the understanding, care, and physical presence that all humans long for? What if we took a step back from interacting with each other and made connecting with each other our life’s purpose? What if each person reading this book took steps to become the healthiest human possible? What if each one of us dug into our past, took responsibility for our present and decided to learn what it takes to really live and fully love instead of letting fear drive us and our relationships? What if I had started this healing journey much earlier and I was writing an epic love story with John instead of this book? And it’s not just romantic relationships ; all relationships are affected when we allow fear and unhealed wounds to drive our behavior. Most people blame the other person in a relationship thinking they are the one who needs to get healthy. Or two people settle for a surface relationship because neither one has the courage to be real and vulnerable. As a result, relationships are shallow at best and at worst, they never start or quickly deteriorate. And we end up feeling lost and alone and believing we are better off alone than in a relationship. In a relationship, the more we give and the more vulnerable we are, the more risk we take. But also, the more trust can be developed and the more potential there is for us to have a deeply satisfying relationship. But when fear wins and we do not heal our wounds, we lose out on some of the greatest and most satisfying joys we could experience in this life.

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