Brave Enough To Be Bliss

Together, as a community, Christians can overcome the strident teachings of the purity movement and transform the gift of sexuality into one that is nuanced, healthy and healing.”

I thought, wow, just wow! Who knew anyone would talk about such things within a church? I sure didn’t. It was in stark contrast to the churches and other Christian groups I had been a part growing up. It was shocking and yet gave me immediate hope that maybe someone could understand my struggle related to sex and spirituality. And the timing with the conversation I had just had the previous weekend with another pastor, blew my mind. I perused her website and went to the Contact page and felt a nudge to send her a message. I have gotten used to reaching out even when my brain tells me the recipient may think I’m nuts . I typed a message, hit send and let it go knowing it wasn ’ t a reflection of me if she did n’t respond. Following is the communication that resulted. MESSAGE I just read about your book in the COR women's e-mail. I am not in town for a couple months, so can't attend but am going to listen to your podcasts. I had been told growing up I'd go to hell if I had sex before marriage. As it turns out, I was raped at 17 and this led to many spiritual questions, issues, anger, etc. I'm now 55 and have been through quite a healing and spiritual journey I am actually documenting in a book I hope to have finished by April. I am very interested in what you have to share and have a feeling I'll be including your work as a resource for others who have struggled like I did. Thank you for being bold to tackle this subject! I'm tackling rape and suicide, so I know it's not always easy when the topics make others uncomfortable! Blessings to you! On Thursday, February 1, 2024 at 12:07:34 PM CST, Rev. Dr. Angie McCarty wrote: Oh, Ginger! I am so thankful to hear from you. You are exactly the person I’m doing this work for. If it would be helpful, I’ d love to schedule a zoom conversation with you. We could share our stories and I would love to hear what you would like to hear from the church about sex and sexuality. Your experience informs how you think of yourself and the church, so you have an important message for me to hear, I’m sure! Great to hear from you! I wondered if you might think I was a little bit crazy reaching out, but I've learned to just go with what I'm feeling and figured, it can't hurt. From the class intro, I didn't even realize you worked at COR, I just thought you were coming in to provide the class. I'm so glad I go to a church that allows this discussion and wish I had known about you years ago. So many things keep leading me to people at this church and my life has been so blessed. More than five years ago, my journey began because of an email I received from Pastor Anne which led me to Ginger Rothhaas and while I never intended to write a book, at Ginger's urging, I decided to keep writing to her and a friend along the way and eventually began to believe maybe my writing could become a book. While I didn't see it initially, the book is really as much of a spiritual journey as a healing journey. As so many times has happened to me during this process, God puts just the person in my path that I need and my eyes are filling with tears as I write this. Last weekend, I had the following Facebook Messenger conversation with Pastor Adam. I believe me seeing your class offering today and reaching out at the Holy Spirit's urging is what I needed to figure out how to get my mind in a place I can write what needs to be shared so people know they are not alone in their confusion, thoughts, feelings, behaviors around sex. I don't know if you've done any work on men's sexuality, but I have had a number of men who have acknowledged their porn addictions (and other things) to me after reading my blogs and just wanting to be real with someone and tell their deep, dark secrets. None of them feel comfortable talking with their wives which is so sad, but I understand it from my own past thoughts and feelings as a wife also. I feel like sex is a topic I need to share, but it's my last remaining struggle with being fully honest in the book (the book is only about me, no one else...I only share my own part of the stories, not anyone else's). I think women need to be able to discuss sex, porn, etc. with their partners without shaming them or there's little chance they will get help. And there are so many women my age who are married and haven't had sex for years which also saddens me because now that I have experienced what it can be like (after my divorce), I understand what it could have been or still could be again. I digress, but just wanted to share the conversation below because yet again, I am amazed at the timing of discovering you exist. Ginger Bliss sent, Fri 10:39 PM I read you will be preaching live at COR Downton Saturday night. I usually attend there but am out of town for a couple months writing. After reading your weekly email and the topic, I just wanted to mention that for those who have been sexually abused as Contact 2 FIRST NAME Ginger Let me know what your life looks like these days. I’m booked the rest of the week but could do something next week. Many blessings… From: Ginger Bliss To: Rev. Dr. Angie McCarty Subject: Re: Messy Sex Thursday, February 1, 2024 12:57 PM

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