Brave Enough To Be Bliss

you can help young men and young women avoid similar pain and learn about themselves and each other before they get into long term relationships that can bring even more pain if they haven't dealt with their issues.

Anyway, just talking out loud (in writing) but I was in that part of the book where I talk about Kylee's situation, and it made me think of you not sharing with men anymore about your experience and how that could have contributed to the depression since nothing good was coming out of it anymore. I think we are made to help each other and by sharing our hearts and experiences with others it can give us some of the dopamine we need to help ourselves feel better. (see below) Anyway, just some random thoughts but listening to everything you've said in our last couple calls, it came to mind so maybe just something to consider. Dopamine Basics It’s made in the brain through a two -step process. First, it changes the amino acid tyrosine to a substance called dopa, and then into dopamine. It affects many parts of behavior and physical functions, such as: learning, motivation, heart rate, blood vessel function, kidney function, lactation, sleep, mood, attention, control of nausea and vomiting, pain processing, movement. None of what I shared with him may have been valuable at all, but if nothing else, it would be a signal that I cared about him and his struggles. He had subscribed to my blogs, so I figured he had some interest in my writing. Sharing through email was how we got to know each other in the first place, so I figured it couldn’t hurt anything.

“Do your little bit of good where you are; its those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Since the fall of 2022, Allen had periodically expressed frustration with his job, so I tried to provide encouragement and helpful information.

On Monday, August 29, 2022, 7:49 AM, Allen wrote: Thank you very much for this! This has provoked a lot of thought already this morning now. I’m hoping this week will bring go od results. I tend to be non-confrontational as I want to please others and not disappoint them. And then I’m afraid that I’ll be seen as a jerk or just rude, or just bluntly a dick. I kind of become a push over. Maybe I care too much what other people think of me.

Again, thank you for sharing this with me. I’m trying to do better and be more intentional in my daily tasks and prioritizing them. And trying to let people know what is urgent to them is not always most important to me.

On Monday, September 12, 2022, 7:13 AM, Allen wrote: Well, it’s another week. I’ve been battling anxiety all weekend because of all the projects that have been hitting all at once and each one has been blowing up with issues. Either onsite, materials, install, or just getting the stuff produced on time. I honestly feel I’m at my limit. Back when I received one of the biggest raises anyone has gotten there at one time. I did want the new title, but I understand there’s still growth and learning to take place for the experience to be good at this role, but I was being set up. I was thrown into the fire, and it was sink or swim. I know how things need to be built or produced and how the end product needs to be, but the little problems that pop up, the paperwork, the meetings, and then I was being made to do someone else’s job because they were too overwhelmed and cried about it and it became one more task for me that I didn’t have time for. I should have raised my hand, but I’m ambitious and wanted to take on more to prove myself, but I was setting myself up to fail. I am more than likely overplaying all this in my head, but I hate to fail, and that’s all I’ve done lately. I want to be arou nd my kids more and working that far away takes time too. I miss their practices and stuff at school because all last week I couldn’t get home til about 8 each night from having to work late and then they made us go in early and help also. They wanted all us office personnel to come in this weekend and work too, but I had to watch the kids and didn’t have anyone else to and I wasn’t g oing to give that up. Actually, it was non-negotiable for the office workers to come in and work. I’m tired and stressed more than I should be. I was looking for other jobs closer to home, there’s a few that wouldn’t be bad , but it would be a pay cut, but then I wouldn’t be driving as far and spending more on gas and maintenance. I just don’t know…I will keep pushing hard and doing my best, but I can’t keep going like this. Thanks for letting me vent, hope your week goes well! On Tue, Sep 13, 2022, 8:10 AM Ginger Bliss wrote: This book was a game changer for me learning to manage the stuff that went through my mind. The thoughts I had believed for years. Learning I didn’t have to believe them was life changing. The following is what I kept in the Notes in my phone to do some inquiry when something was bothering me (paraphrased below from what she teaches, http://Thework.com). More often than not when I honestly went through this process, key is honestly, I would realize I was making shit up in my head about what other people were thinking or expecting. I made my life much harder and unhappier than it needed to be. She’s a lot more “zen” than I will likely ever be…but I really appreciated her work and took what resonated with me and it was likely the single biggest to ol that helped me change my brain and relieve the pressure I had thought was on me, but in reality, is what I was putting on myself.

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