Brave Enough To Be Bliss

done that enough in my life that the experience has led to confidence, so helping him at this point was what I needed to do.

Additionally, I had heard that all good things come from God and when we share our gifts for God’s ministry and mission, and when we put that first versus last, it’s amazing how we find a way to make things work. When I had been out of work previously, fear would lead me to stop my automatic contributions to the church and other worthwhile causes and community organizations. I made a conscious decision that this time, I would continue my commitment to the church and continue to make contributions to other worthwhile causes when I felt a nudge to do so. Like everything else, I just felt like doing the right thing would somehow work itself out. If at some point I had to pull back my contributions, I would understand that’s what I had to do, but until then, I would maintain my giving. My brain would have told me a different answer, but when I sought guidance from my heart and soul, I knew it was what I wanted to do. It was a trusting and brave decision for me, and it felt right. By this time, I was beginning to feel the strength of bravery versus the anguish of fear…and it felt so much better. “Sometimes Christians feel that to really express their faith, they would need to change jobs and work in a church or a nonprofit or be a full- time missionary. That’s fine if that’s where God’s called you, but I’ve found more often God isn’t calling us to change work environments, he’s calling us to change the environment we’re in.” April Stallworth The next day we were driving back from a day of sightseeing, and I needed to pick up a few things from the grocery store. We had been talking on the drive and when we got to the grocery store, we were in the middle of a pretty deep conversation. He pulled into a parking spot and instead of getting out, he pushed his seat back, turned toward me and just listened. He had asked me why I was still struggling with feeling unlovable. I was trying to explain but wasn’t sure I even knew the answer to that one yet. So, he suggested that I pray for help with this, and he prayed for me in that way before we went into the store. It was a very kind gesture, and I appreciated the suggestion because clearly, I was still struggling. “You can always tell when communication is coming from a healed place. Exchanges will be built on transparency, resolution, and understanding, rather than assumption, shutting down, and ignoring the issue completely. We owe it to ourselves to build healthy communication skills.” Unknown We had been having a good time together, but I sensed a shift in his communication and body language Tuesday and Wednesday. I didn’t say anything or ask any questions , thinking maybe I was imagining it. On Wednesday afternoon, I was letting him use my laptop and he became frustrated with something related to his job search and asked me for help. I explained the issue and suggested how he could proceed, but instead he just quit. He definitely didn’t seem open to further conversation, so I went back to doing my own thing. He was in the living room and turned on the television and was watching a church service. The pastor’s voice and what he was saying really got under my skin. I tried to ignore it, but I noticed that I was physically uncomfortable just listening to it. I went for a walk and that evening I tried to discuss the earlier situation hoping to help him understand that quitting because something is frustrating was not going to be a good approach if he wanted to work in an office setting with computers. My approach backfired and he became extremely upset. I didn’t feel he was listening to anything I said because he just kept saying the same thing over and over again. It reminded me of the way the pastor spoke, and I wasn ’ t going to take it from him. I didn’t shut down like usual, instead I engaged and in retrospect made several unhelpful comments. He ended up leaving and honestly, I was relieved he did. I knew I didn’t handle it well, but I didn’t think he did either .

“Never dull your shine for somebody else.” Tyra Banks

I did end up apologizing via text overnight, and he called the next morning, and we had a good talk. He accepted my apology, but said he needed time alone. We had planned to leave very early that morning to drive to Mackinac City and take a ferry to Mackinac Island and spend the day. It was the place I was most looking forward to going, so I decided I would just go by myself. I had gotten myself to Michigan, so I certainly could

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