Brave Enough To Be Bliss

I agree love is always positive and we need to normalize it for all human beings. You know I’m already there, so please consider joining us.

“Men and porn = deadly most of the time. It’s not about right and wrong. It’s about a man’s integrity and how it impacts his relationship with himself, his partner, and his kids. Like any addiction, if it starts to negatively impact his relationships, it’s a problem.” Jayson Gaddis We can communicate with virtually anyone on the planet, yet our communication with those closest to us is often lacking. I am absolutely no expert on men and porn, but over the past few years I have heard from far too many men that it is an addiction issue they are struggling with. My point in bringing it up in this book is to say, you are not alone. And also, this is a huge issue for anyone raising a son today, as he has porn at his fingertips. It’s no longer the Playboy under the mattress ; this is serious porn, not just naked ladies in a magazine. This discussion is not about the rightness or wrongness of porn, I am simply stating that it exists and is being used to the detriment of relationships. Since I’m hoping both sexes are actually reading both sections, I’m really talking to everyone to say shaming men about porn isn’t going to help anything. And there are women addicted to porn as well. I was at a conference a couple years ago where one of the speakers was talking about her previous porn addiction. My eyes were opened, as I hadn’t even considered that. There’s so much we don’t know unless we seek to learn and are open to knowledge instead of jumping to judgment. I believe too many children, both boys and girls, grow up without hearing anything about what a healthy sexual relationship is like. And then especially with boys and their raging hormones, porn can lead them to think that is what sex is really about. A physical act. Instead of being taught that sex is sex and it’s available online and lots of other places, but it ’ s so much better when there is love involved and it involves your heart and not just your penis. And it ’ s vitally important for them to understand the dangers of porn and sharing photos or videos of their body parts, etc., so they don’t end up in a situation that could impact them for years to come. Repeated use of porn without a connection to loving emotions creates the need for more intense stimulation in order for many people, particularly boys/men, to become aroused. So, there are women who now struggle with partners who can’t get aroused from “normal” sex any longer because they’ve been watching things online that are beyond what many women would be interested in doing. This makes me sad for the men and the women involved. The good news is that people who haven’t fully connected to their emotions and instead rely on porn still have the opportunity to experience making love with a whole new area of stimulation to pull from. Making love is supposed to bring people in a loving relationship together, not pull them apart. I don’t know how to solve the porn issue, but I have listed a number of resources that may help people begin to have the conversation without shame and judgment. And without the conversation, there’s no chance the demand for porn will lessen. Parents discussing the importance of healthy sexual relationships with their children seems like it would be a very natural and healthy part of the human experience, but maybe there just aren’t enough parents out there who have a healthy sexual relationship who could honestly have that conversation. It certainly seems like something worthy of discussion and aspiration. “In every relationship, there’s a fundamental rule: Always ensure that your loved one never feels lonely, particularly when you’re together. This means being present, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. It’s about creating an environment of warmth and understanding, where communication is open, and each person feels heard and valued.” R.M. Drake

318