Brave Enough To Be Bliss

incorrectly, that is why we think there must be a misunderstanding or confusion, that is why we change the conversation, that is why we are adamant it cannot be happening or why it must only happen to "those" people, however we define "those" as long as th ey are different from us…our brains simply cannot fathom the depth of another’s pain so we look for any excuse not to acknowledge the reality. We shut down what we cannot process. We shut down what is too scary to understand. We shut down what, if we fully allowed ourselves to feel the utter fear of and complete lack of control over, would bring us to our knees.

And people keep getting hurt. And as long as people keep getting hurt in these unspeakable ways, there will be the consequences of hurt people continuing to hurt people, shamed people continuing to live in shame.

But that’s it…that’s where we need to be. On our knees. Holding each other tight. Feeling each other’s pain. Unbearable pain isn’t unbearable once it is shared. Unbearable shame isn’t unbearable once it is shared.

Compassion for ourselves. Compassion for each other is the only thing that will give us any sense of peace. Humans are not ever going to be perfect, but we do have the knowledge today to help ourselves and help each other do better, be wiser, be kinder, be more loving, face our fears, stop responding with controlling behaviors but rather with loving behaviors that truly can help change the world one life at a time. It starts with challenging our current thinking, then changing the resulting behaviors, then opening our minds and hearts to each other, then offering to share what we have with each other out of goodness, mercy and loving kindness.

“Make a habit of not holding someone’s past against them. When someone works hard to grow and change into a better person, allow them to show up as that person.” Unknown

I ran across an article about Homeboy Industries and was deeply moved. Homeboy is the largest gang intervention program globally. The article makes the point that most of these men and women who led lives of crime had endured abuse and abandonment. Homeboy gives them a sense of belonging and hope . And if you’re like me, you’ll learn a new word, “tenderoni.” We need so much more tenderoni in this world, so I would strongly encourage you to take the time to click on some of the links under Resources.

“We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison

Ira Bvock wrote, “Years ago, anthropologist Margaret Mead was asked by a student what she considered to be the first sign of civilization in a culture. The student expected Mead to talk about fishhooks or clay pots or grinding stones. But no. Mead said that the first sign of civilization in an ancient culture was a femur (thighbone) that had been broken and then healed. Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from danger, get to the river for a drink or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal. A broken femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken time to stay with the one who fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts, Mead said. We are at our best when we serve others.” “Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into the places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human.” Henri Nouwen

241