Brave Enough To Be Bliss

I knew Ginger was working on a book, so periodically that would come up in our conversations. She had mentioned sometimes she struggled believing she was really a writer similar to how I believed I wasn’t attractive. At the whiteboard, she proceeded to write the first column of words under her name. She explained when we feel fear, we can self-sabotage, do things or not do things that ensure we stay stuck with the negative belief. When she told herself she wasn’t a writer, she wouldn’t write and she wouldn’t call to find a publisher or in other words, she wouldn’t do the things that support ed the fact she is indeed a writer. She said, instead of self-sabotaging, we could act and over time that would help us override the negative thought and eventually believe we are what we are. She always made the issues I brought to her seem less complicated and the tools and strategies offered support when I wasn’t in her office. And thinking back through my interactions with John in the process of writing this book, I’ve come to realize he was similar when I struggled to follow something he was telling me or when he knew I was upset about something. They both asked the most poignant questions and then broke things down in a way th at I could understand, and they didn’t get frustrated with me in the process. It was imperative that I understand why I thought what I thought and did what I did before I could adjust my behaviors to support a different outcome. Now I may be slow on the front end and need things really dumbed down, but then on the backs ide, once I get it, I get it… or so I thought, unless it had to do with men. Under my column, she wrote “ attractive, ” which was uncomfortable for me to see as I would have preferred something more like what I said to begin the chapter, relatively OK looking. Remember where I started in the book when all I could say was I was fat and ugly, so it was progress to be able to accept attractive even if it still made me squirm a bit. We then talked about how people meet in public. She said that flirting lets people know we are open to conversation, so that made sense. And because I had gained experience over the past couple years just talking to random strangers, and had actually come to enjoy it, t his didn’t seem too scary at all. I decided I would treat anyone the same and just be interested to meet a new person whoever they were, men that might seem attractive to me would be just the same.

Ginger R

Ginger Bliss

Writer Write

Attractive

Flirt

Call publisher

Meet people

She then made me go through a very uncomfortable exercise thinking about qualities I possess that might contribute to me being attractive. I didn’t like this part at all. She started the list with gorgeous which I thought was ridiculous, but she was the on e with the marker, so I’ll still list it here just to be honest about what was on the white board, but she put it on there, not me. I still wouldn’t have used that word about myself, so just don’t want to mislead anyone thinking I was quite that healed…yet .

Attractive Gorgeous GR , smart, fit, loving, kind, giving, fun, laughing, relaxed

I am proud to say the rest of the list was actually my words, so I think that shows tremendous improvement I could come up with that many nice things to say about myself . Four years later, but who’s counting. Soon after this discussion, I would have the chance to test out my new knowledge, thoughts, and behaviors. The Friday before my actual birthday the next week, a friend and her family had me over to celebrate. She gave a beautiful toast before we ate, and I was very touched by her words. The fact the adult kids took the time to come home was also very meaningful. It was the perfect way to kick off my birthday. I had several more friends who took me to happy hour or dinner over the next few days, but Tuesday evening after work I had a massage scheduled so had planned for a relaxed evening before my actual birthday on Wednesday.

When I arrived for the massage I had a couple extra minutes, so I checked my phone and had a text message from my dad saying if I wanted to join him. He was listening to music not far from where I lived. I told him I

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