Brave Enough To Be Bliss

Chapter 9 — Hurting or Healing Words

“Your words have the power to hurt, to heal, open minds, open hearts and change the world. Never forget the responsibility you have over the words you speak.” Steven Aitchison

If you’re a parent, how would your kids answer the questions in this video? Everyone, how would you have answered this question if you had been asked as a child?

Power of Words (youtube.com)

Words. We say them. We write them, or more often type them these days. And we hear and read them. According to WordsRated ( How Many Words Does the Average Person Say a Day? – WordsRated ) , “ The average person speaks around 16,000 words in a day, with females (16,215 words) speaking slightly more than males (15,699). ” But how often do we stop to really think about the meaning of words and how those words can intentionally or unintentionally hurt others? I’ve always felt strongly that words really do matter. And the adage "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me" is just plain wrong. I think many people remember negative or perceived negative things that were said to them, especially as children. At a very young age, I remember my grandmother hearing me call my sister a fool. Likely I had heard the word used for the first time, so I repeated it. Sternly she told me I would “go to hell” if I ever used that word again. I can’t recall ever saying that word again, other than in sharing this memory. At 11 years old, standing in the bathroom crying, I remember being asked what was wrong around the time of my parents’ divorc e. I shared my feelings, which was rare, and was told: “Don’t you ever think about anyone but yourself? Stop being so selfish.” Not surprisingly, I knew better than to share my real feelings after that. What I took away from that interaction, whether intended or not, was that it is selfish to share one’s real feelings . To be on the safe side, I decided it’s best not to have even have them . And from then on, I would choose every word very carefully and selectively to ensure I would not be selfish or hurt anyone else. John was the first person to bring this habit to my attention, almost 40 years later. Depending on the topic, and much to his annoyance, it could take me quite some time to share a few sentences due to my careful word selection. Not only was I selecting the words that I thought or felt, but I was also trying my best to interpret how those words would be received so I never risked hurting anyone else as words had hurt me. I did n’t want to risk having those words turned around to hurt me either. When I shared my word selection process with a close friend, she said, “Wow, that’s A LOT. Isn’t it exhausting?” Yes, being anywhere and doing anything in my mind was quite exhausting indeed. John also referred to the word love as a “really big” word. I pointed out the fact it’s only four letters, so not big at all. And speaking of love, do these phrases carry the same meaning or evoke the same feeling inside when you hear them said to you? Love ya THIS is the POWER of WORDS | Jim Kwik (youtube.com)

Love you I love you

Perhaps some people think these phrases all communicate the same thing. It doesn’t seem that way to me because I pay attention to detail, and what I observe is that most people use the phrases for different people depending on the type of relationship. And some people never use the word “ I ” in the phrase at all.

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