Brave Enough To Be Bliss

Chapter 1 — New Loves, New Life

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours -- it is an amazing journey -- and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” Bob Moawad

Since Kylee couldn’t really do anything after the concussions, dating wasn’t something she had done too much of. Toward the end of nursing school, though, she was beginning to venture out and develop new friendships. I was very happy to see her become more social and hoped she would encounter someone special at some point in the future. Well, it turned out that happened really fast. She and a young man had begun communicating on a dating app. They recognized each other from having had a class together as freshmen at KU. The class was unusually small, so while they hadn’t gotten to know ea ch other well back then, they did recognize one another. For that reason, it couldn’t be said it was love at first sight…but if there’s such a thing as love at first date, this appeared to be that. She was a little nervous when he came to pick her up. I was leaving the house soon anyway, so she told me to leave so I could avoid an “awkward” (her words, not mine)

introduction before their first date. I left as she wished when he was pulling up in front of the house, but I timed it so I could be at the corner stop sign to see if he opened the door to his truck for her, and if she let him. He did, and she did. I believe she is extremely special, so if he wanted the honor of taking her out, I just wanted to know he was treating her as she deserves to be treated. As every woman deserves to be treated: with kindness and respect. Having been made aware of some of my behaviors with men, I wanted to make sure she learned from my mistakes, so I suggested she let him treat her like a lady. Sure, she was completely capable of opening her own doors and didn’t need him to, but I explained when a man offers to do nice things like that, it is a sign of kindness and respect, not a sign that he thinks she is weak. And even more, we had taught her to hold doors open for anyone coming in behind her. To us, it was never a sign that someone was incapable of anything, it was simply a kind and respectful gesture to another human being. So, if she didn’t allow the same to be done with her, it would be a sign she had work to do personally with why she couldn’t receive a kind gesture. There was no doubt in my mind that this girl would stand up for herself, so I wasn’t worried about her . If anything, I wished him luck if he dared to venture into a discussion trying to show off his sports knowledge or chose an activity involving a ball of any kind, because she would show no mercy to anyone. If his ego could survive that, I figured it would be a good sign. And survive he did. She had been herself and he took her knowledge and natural athletic ability in stride and may have even been impressed. She was smitten. He sounded like a great guy, and I couldn’t have been happier for them both. A few weeks in, though, she expressed concern about the fact he was in the police academy and the Army National Guard. She said she was concerned because of the danger involved with his occupation. I was very honest with her at that point because I knew how much she liked him, and she had already told me he loved his career. I suggested she give some serious consideration to whether or not she could not only live with but support him doing what he loved to do, understanding the risk involved. If she knew she couldn’t do that, it likely wasn’t going to work between them. I knew about fear and resentment, so I felt it was important she really dig deep

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