The Oklahoma Bar Journal August 2023

Content warning: This article discusses suicide and gun violence and contains graphic content.

well enough the next day. Again, “work hard, play hard.” But like almost every story of a practicing alcoholic, his drinking began to consume more and more of his spare time. Going out after work became a regular ritual, followed by more drinks at home and more drinking on the weekends. He carried a liter bottle of scotch in the trunk of his car like a spare tire, just in case. He had always been careful about appearances; most law yers are because our reputations mean so much. Despite his daily struggles with alcohol, Doug was an award-winning Boy Scouts Scoutmaster for many years, and he served on the board of a local high school. He had close and caring friends. And like many of us, he had a servant’s heart, a great sense of humor and could compartmentalize his demons when necessary. We lawyers are not purely good – no one is – but more akin to the biblical David, capable of great wisdom and folly, great deeds and misdeeds. As his illness progressed, he withdrew from friends if they became aware of his excesses. He began to tell elaborate lies and drop vague dramatic hints about

20-something-year-old coach. Lots of time was spent sitting around hotel rooms, socializing after rounds, drinking scotch and maybe smoking an occasional joint. My brother had discovered the exhila ration many of us have known (and that is termed, often with admira tion, “work hard, play hard”). Finally, when he failed to show up for a semester final and failed a class (archery for God’s sake), my father summoned him home to go to a local university, especially if he was serious about going to law school, something he had wanted since the sixth grade. He came home, left his drinking for the most part to weekends and pulled his grades up. He was admitted to law school and main tained his regimen of occasional social drinks during the week, leaving more earnest recreation for the weekends. He could func tion that way. He did well enough in law school and as a beginning lawyer to land good jobs at respected firms and eventually made partner doing oil and gas title work. All the while, his drinking continued to escalate. Like many seasoned drinkers, my brother drank every night but performed

My brother, Doug, was a prac ticing Oklahoma lawyer. Like any of us, he had enjoyed success in school and work. He had a T-shirt that read, “I’ll try anything once ... maybe twice,” which summed up his personal philosophy. That credo could be shared by many lawyers. The DNA of an attorney is often uncommon intelligence blended with a need for excitement and risk, and the adrenaline and dopamine rush that comes with it. It had started in high school, where he was on the debate team – often a training ground for future lawyers. Periodic out-of-town trips allowed him to sneak the occa sional drink and cigarette in the hotel room with his teammates. Inevitably, as high school pro gressed, the partying expanded to include frequent Friday and Saturday nights when his group would pool their money and rent a room at a local hotel. The hospital ity suite was open – an early taste of college life. When he went to a private Texas university on a debate schol arship, his partying expanded. The occasional out-of-town trips in high school blossomed into multi-day tournaments to both coasts in a van led by the team’s broad-minded

Statements or opinions expressed in the Oklahoma Bar Journal are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the Oklahoma Bar Association, its officers, Board of Governors, Board of Editors or staff.

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THE OKLAHOMA BAR JOURNAL