Strictly Slots November 2022

PERFECTLY FRANK BY FRANK LEGATO

ROCKS, SCISSORS AND OLD FOLKS Aruze’s new game is simple, even for old folks like me

A t the recent Global Gaming Expo trade show in Las Vegas, slot-maker Aruze Gaming unveiled a slot ma chine that isn’t really a slot machine. It’s an electronic simulation of the kid’s game Rock, Paper, Scissors. This game, if you recall, involves making hand symbols to simulate each of the three words in the name.If you make a fist, it’s a rock. An open hand represents a sheet of paper.Two fingers in a peace-sign format is scissors.(I often use half of that gesture when I’m angry.) Let’s see if I remember—rock smashes scissors, paper covers rock, scissors cut paper. So if I pump my fist and you flash the peace sign, I win because I smashed your scissors. If I put up my hand for paper, I lose to scissors,but win over rock. This game was one of many ways kids could pass the time before smartphones.I won der if any of today’s fruit-slashing, alien-shoot ing, puzzle-playing iPhone children even know what the game is. But unlike when I was a kid,now you can

are free to put their entertainment dollars to use any way they please.And it turns out that a lot of seniors simply like playing slot machines. That includes me, by the way.When you read this, I will have just turned 66 years old. When I first wrote about casinos,my father was 66. It’s a bit disconcerting, to say the least. But still, I love to play slots—video poker, even more, and craps, faghettaboutit—and that appeal has nothing to do with the“evil casinos” hypnotizing me. The noted author’s contention is that casi nos prey on seniors with“inherent vulnerabili ties,” including dementia.Shumway quoted one other piece that called slots “electronic crack” that provides a“cocaine high.” OK,make up your mind here.Either I’m in a hypnotic fog or I’m a crazed crackhead. Pick one and go with it. I may be 66, but I’m at my most alert in a casino,whether it’s at a video poker machine or a craps table.There’s thinking involved in both. The regular slot games I save to unwind at the end of the night.But not in a hypnotic fog. Just

win money playing this game.The Aruze machine has three buttons, and a formation of LED lights that forms the outline of a hand, two fingers or a fist. (I would suggest adding a single finger to mock losing players, but I don’t think they’ll do that.) You push a button, the ma chine makes its choice.It’s a one-in-three shot every time, so you have the same chance a great hitter in baseball has of getting a hit in a given at-bat. (Sorry. It’sWorld Series week as I write this.) It’s a simple concept,which makes it perfect for a slot machine. In fact,noodling around the Internet, I found a 2017 article highlighting a study showing that chimpanzees were able to master Rock, Paper, Scissors.That doesn’t really have anything to do with the Aruze game, but I never pass up a chance to put chimpanzees in my column.They’re the nightclub comics of the animal kingdom. Moving on,here’s raising a glass to Dayton Daily News columnist David Shumway,who blasted a book byAmy Ziettlow, Seniors in Casino Land, that alleges that “evil casinos are unscrupulously preying on seniors”by putting them in a“hypnotic”state. Shumway pointed to research that shows the opposite is true— that slots are“harmless, enjoyable and even beneficial” to seniors,who

a simple activity that’s pleasant and doesn’t cost a lot. It was always that way in the old days in Atlantic City, too. I’d see these buses full of seniors unload at 11 a.m.Most would run to the slots, but there were always several who went to the craps tables, and shouted out prop bets, hard-ways, ee-ohs, wahoos and a million other things where I had no idea what they were saying.Craps is complicated, and the players from the buses knew all the ropes.They were sharp. And these were guys who looked like they could be Gettysburg veterans. The Daily News ’ Shumway writes that it’s“insulting to categorize seniors as easily duped and incapable of making rational decisions.” That’s correct. It’s insulting, by gum. It’s, it’s...What were we talk ing about? No, seriously, I’ve been writing for 40 years, but as far as going to casinos to play slots, video poker, craps or whatever, I’m still in my prime. Now, cart me up to that table, sonny.Come-out roll! ✤

42 NOVEMBER 2022 ■ STRICTLY SLOTS ■ www.casinocenter.com