PEORIA MAGAZINE September 2023

Pekin author Phillis Dewitt with her book

After Tony passed, Dewitt continued working, raising her children, and earning her doctorate in nursing. Friends encouraged her to date, but Dewitt laughed it off. She didn’t expect to find a connection with Craig Nelson, then a senior vice president at Ameren. Despite their different backgrounds, the pair have been married since 2010. “I get to live with her and watch her work,” Nelson said, admiringly. “Some of the driving motivators behind Phillis, how she lives her life, are themes in the book as well. She teaches people you don’t have to live as a victim. Turn pain into purpose. She’s telling her story, and it’s encouraging others to break the power their secret has over them.” “He’s one of the biggest fans of the book and is very supportive of me doing my talks,” Dewitt said of her husband. “He’s a huge cheerleader.” ‘EMERGING A VICTOR’ Dewitt has spoken around the United States. She and her co-author have been humbled by how many women in their 70s and 80s approach Dewitt to share

their stories of abuse. Many times, these women have been holding the secret their entire lives. It’s important to Dewitt that men are actively involved in her talks, as she believes it counters the idea that sharing stories of trauma is shameful. It also offers an outlet to men suffering from abuse. “Nationwide, men struggle with talking about their abuse far more than women do,” she said. “I hope that I’m giving them a voice.” The mixed-gender audience has shocked women in other countries, said Dewitt. Through a ministry called Hope Partners International, she has given medical exams in India, Israel, Costa Rica, Romania and Ukraine to help women who have been trafficked or abused. At the end of each clinic, she shares her story. One group told Dewitt that they thought sexual assault only happened to girls in India. “They said, ‘We had no idea this could happen to an American doctor, and your husband heard that whole story. Does he

still want to be married to you?’ I said, ‘Absolutely.’ There’s nothing that I have to be embarrassed of.” “When she shares her story, people find it inspirational,” said Alesandrini. “She doesn’t blame God. She doesn’t speak in terms of self-pity and really doesn’t present her story from the view point of a victim, though she certainly was a victim. “She shares enough about what hap pened to her regarding the abuse to let people know how difficult it was, but then she changes focus from being victimized to emerging a victor. That is really the purpose of telling her story, to inspire women that they can leave their pasts behind and not be prisoners to what happened to them.” To learn more about Phillis Dewitt, her book and future speaking engagements, visit https://phillisdewitt.com/.

Laurie Pillman is an author and freelance writer/editor, based in Peoria

SEPTEMBER 2023 PEORIA MAGAZINE 77