NOCTILUCA Feb. 2016

AREYOUAWARE? Appleton, Wisconsin February 2016 Vol. XXI

Issue I

Page 5

During the past 30 days, how many days was your mental health not good? (Mental health includes stress, depression, and problems with emotions.) Ptacek : an unseen battle, from page 1 TO GET HELP If you or someone you

(YRBS) done with Appleton North freshmen and juniors, when asked: “During the past 30 days, how many days was your mental health not good? “(Mental health includes stress, depression, and problems with emotions)” only 40.3 percent of freshmen and 35.7 percent of juniors answered 0 days; the rest of them answered any- where from 1 to over 14 days. During the past 12 months, 29 percent of juniors felt so sad and/or hopeless almost every day for two weeks or more in a row that they stopped doing some usual activities. Mental illness affects many students, even if others can’t visibly observe it. Rarely is depression simply the people with dark clothes, or an aloof attitude. So many students with depression are immensely suc- cessful in their academic and extracurricular lives, but also successful in hiding their pain. “If you saw me in the hallway, or if you sat next to me in class, you wouldn’t be able to tell that this is something that I struggle with. Unless I told you,” she said. It’s really hard for her to keep a positive persona on at school; to constantly pretend that it’s okay when it is quite the opposite. The night of the intense bullying incident she decided she wanted to kill her- self and that it was not worth living anymore. That terrifying night, she ended up in the hos- pital but knew it wasn’t worth it and that she could get herself out. At school the next day it was back to normal. An out- sider could never guess what happened that night; would never know how close she was to not returning to Appleton you sat next to me in class, you wouldn’t be able to tell that this is something that I struggle with.” North. “The depression makes everything really hard because when you have depression, half the time you feel sad and half the time you feel nothing at all,” she said. She went on a new medication, started to see a new counselor and things got a bit better but senior year was devastating. Two more doctors and an increased dosage later she felt constantly tired and never her- self. The depression hung over her like a cloud, following her “If you saw me in the hallway, or if

everything worse because she is a very high achieving student and she wants to be successful. Though this student feels alone, she is most certainly not the only student who experi- ences mental illness. Accord- ing to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 1 in 5 youth, or 20 percent (ages 13-18) have a diagnosable mental illness. Maybe this is you. Maybe it’s your friend, your neighbor, sib- ling or classmate. But whoever it may be, they need to know they’re not alone. They need to know that you recognize what they’re going through and that you are aware of their struggles. This is what she said: “What I also want people to know is that I really need your support right now and I just really need to know that you care. There’s nothing really other people can do except let me know that they care, because I don’t care any- more.” Mental Illness Fox Valley- http://www.namifoxvalley. org/ Prevent Suicide Fox Cit- ies-http://www.preventsui- cidefoxcities.org/ School resources such as the school psychologist Mrs. Strick. know needs help cop- ing with mental illness or thoughts of suicide please contact one of these re- sources for con ¿ dential as- sistance: National Alliance on

Statistic taken from the Youth Risk Behavioral Survey (YRBS) conducted at Appleton North. Statistic indicates responses of North Freshman class. Graphics by Nora Ptacek

that’s linked to mental illness. “I’ve stopped eating because I don’t want to live anymore. But I don’t want to end it all rapidly, in one rapid ¿ re decision. So I just stopped eating because that way it will eventually be done but it will take awhile. It’ll be long, it’ll be drawn out, it’ll be more painful for me, but I can always turn back if I need to.” You might see her laughing in the hallway but will never know she’s only eaten a protein bar and protein shake. That’s just to keep her going until 4 p.m. where she can go home and sleep until the next morn- ing. She’s falling behind in all her schoolwork because she just can’t get it done now that she just sleeps. And that makes

During the past 12 months, did you ever feel so sad or hopeless almost every day for two weeks or more in a row that you stopped doing some usual activities?

though she knows and under- stands that other people never see her that way, it doesn’t change the way she sees her- self. Just recently she stopped eating in a very conscientious and controlled manner. She de- scribes it as an eating disorder Statistic taken from the Youth Risk Behavioral Survey (YRBS) conduct- ed at Appleton North. Sta- tistic indicates responses of North Junior class.

everywhere she walked. She has what’s called passive sui- cidal thoughts which are de- ¿ ned by the Valley Behavioral Health system as a desire to die, but without a speci ¿ c plan for carrying out the death. Even just walking through the hall- ways at North she thinks “may- be it would be better if you just popped the pills, or just crashed that car,” but she always push- es those thoughts away. “When you have depression you don’t see the world the way other people see the world. You see the world through a veil...that makes everything grayed out, not visually but emotionally. You feel pain. That’s what a lot of people don’t get.” She des- perately wants to help others. But what worsened the depression was the realization that she must help herself be- fore she can begin to help oth- ers. Even that was a struggle because she sees herself in a different light. So many look at her and see beautiful, smart, funny, and wise. This student sees herself as stupid, ugly, awkward, as someone people don’t want to spend time with, and someone who doesn’t de- serve to have friends. Even