My City January 2022

MYMUSINGS

Let’S huG It oUt … MenTAlLy BY LESLIE TOLDO As much as I wanted to buck tradition and skip making resolutions for 2022, I have o‚cially made one. Yes, I guess that does mean I have already broken my original resolution to not make resolutions,because resolutions are usually broken by February,anyway. For the NewYear,my big life goal is to be more loving – to everyone,even challenging people – especially challenging people. I have always been a hugger.Ever notice huggers like to announce that they are, in fact,huggers? Inmy case, it has never been about pride,but more a way of warning people in the immediate vicinity that a hug could be forthcoming. It has always worked well,because people who do not want or like to be touched will (often very dramatically) let a hugger know that it better not happen. Some huggers are hurt by the rejection; I have always appreciated someone letting me know they are not comfortable with hugging. It’s about respecting boundaries. e truth is, there are many people I have not wanted to hug. I do not wander around hugging random strangers,either. I guess that is not entirely true,because during the days when people camped out in public places holding “free hugs”signs, I did hug those strangers. e pandemic has also hinderedmy hugging. It is impossible to simultaneously hug and practice social distancing. While those who detest the a ection breathe a sigh of relief,huggers everywhere are panicked,wondering,“How can you hug without hugging?” I think the answer to that question starts with understanding why huggers hug in the rst place. According toWikipedia (yeah, I Googled it) “Ahug can indicate support, comfort and consolation,particularly where words are insu‚cient.Ahug usually demonstrates a ection and emotional warmth, sometimes arising from joy or happiness when reunited with someone or seeing someone absent after a long time.”

pingebat / stock.adobe.com

Assuming that is a legitimate explanation – and it seems pretty spot-on – we hug to express love. So,how do I o er support, comfort, consolation,or show warmth or joy? I amgoing to go out on a limb here and say I can mentally hug people by literally telling them I am there for themor care about them. I can also do something as simple as listen intently without interrupting,or ask someone how I can help themor what they need. e best thing about amental hug is that the risk of crossing any personal boundaries the huggee might have is signicantly lower.You can give someone amental hug without having their consent,without them even knowing, for that matter. Youmay wonder what the point in that could possibly be. Mentally hugging someonemay not change them ,but it could help you .After all, studies show that physical hugs can reduce stress,boost the immune system, lower blood pressure and decrease depression. Youmay not get those same benets fromamental hug,but I can just about promise you that hugging someone in your mind will not hurt you. ®

An Emmy-nominated anchor/meteorologist/reporter at FOX66 and NBC25, Leslie Toldo has worked in TV news for over 30 years, nearly 20 in Flint. She is a blogger, writer, wedding and funeral officiant. Born and raised in Baton Rouge, LA, she graduated from the University of Wyoming. An avid kayaker, boater and runner, Leslie lives in Linden with her husband, Ellie the cat and three dogs: Bear, Gus and Lucy.

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