Massage Therapy Journal Summer 2026

76 • Massage Therapy Journal

Here’s the reframe I’ve learned: fear is not a stop sign. Fear is a signal. It shows up when you’re ending something that’s not working. When you’re starting something that matters. When you’re stepping into something you care about. That’s not a red light — that’s a green light with butterflies. -- Shawn Ellis

You can’t pour from a depleted state. The most sustainable givers I know have learned to protect their own capacity—not as selfishness, but as responsibility. Q Seeing endings as beginnings is so subtle but so powerful. So many people imagine endings as bad. What’s one of the first steps to helping a person loosen their grip on where they are now so they can make that leap to where they want to be or need to be? A I ask them one question: What is this costing you? Not in a dramatic way. Just honestly. What is holding on to this—this situation, this habit, this version of things—actually costing you? In terms of energy? Time? Options? The version of yourself you’re capable of becoming? We’re really good at calculating the cost of letting go. We feel that immediately. What we’re not good at is calculating the cost of staying. Because the cost of staying is often invisible—it accumulates slowly, quietly, until one day you look up and realize how long you’ve been carrying something that stopped serving you years ago. The second step is what I call looking at the pattern. Think about the last time something ended in your life—a job, a relationship, a way of working—

that felt devastating in the moment. Where did it lead? What opened up afterward? For most people, if they’re honest, the answer is: something better. If you see that many of your past breakthroughs came on the other side of an ending, that’s not a coincidence. It’s a pattern. And if your past breakthroughs came on the other side of an ending ... doesn’t it stand to reason that your next breakthrough is sitting there too? That’s not a leap of faith. That’s reading your own evidence. Q “One brave choice at a time”—bravery is a sometimes loaded word, but doesn’t need to always be big actions. Bravery can be quiet, too. For those who might not consider themselves to be brave, how can they change their mindset? A Stop waiting to feel brave before you act. Bravery isn’t a feeling — it’s a decision. I spent a lot of my life living scared. I still get scared. But now what I know is, so does everyone else. Even if it looks like they’re not. They just decided to move anyway. Here’s the reframe I’ve learned: fear is not a stop sign. Fear is a signal. It shows up when you’re ending something that’s not working. When you’re starting something that matters. When you’re stepping into

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