Massage Therapy Journal Summer 2026

Summer 2026 • 23

considerate and aware, especially if you don’t know the circumstances around why someone is grieving, should be your primary concern. It’s also important not to assume loss is always bad. Sometimes, a loss is a relief, such as a complicated or abusive familial dynamic, or a divorce. Avoid saying common phrases like: • Give it time (time is different for everyone and each loss is unique) • Keep busy (this can encourage avoidance behavior) • Referring to “stages” of grief/loss (grief isn’t linear and can’t be compartmentalized; sometimes, people feel like they are grieving wrong if they aren’t following a process in order) • Any religious or spirit/spiritual existence (you may not know their belief system or their current relationship with their faith) • Saying “I know how you feel” or talking about your own losses. You can’t know how someone feels, and making a client’s loss about you can be off-putting. You don’t want to put a client in a position where they feel compelled to offer you comfort or support during their massage session. If you feel the need to say something, try to be comforting, like: “I can’t imagine how you must be feeling right now, but I’m here for you and you’re not alone.” Simply be a heart with ears and listen. Taking Care of Yourself While Taking Care of Others Caring for people who are grieving is sacred work; you’re engaging with someone at a very vulnerable time in their life, and that can be very emotional and energetically intense for you. If you have unresolved grief yourself, you may not be equipped to hold space for someone else who is actively processing a loss, and it’s OK to own our limitations. This work isn’t for everyone, and it’s also not for everyone at all times . Know when you need to step away.

We have our own personal losses, plus client losses, peer losses, and even location or financial changes. Finding healthy outlets for yourself is imperative for you to care for others in a meaningful way. You can try: • Meditation/mantra with balancing and “clearing” essential oils as well as gemstones • Take a walk outside, plant your bare feet on the ground • Take a salt bath; burn sage, use sound therapy • Journal — write affirmations/gratitudes/lessons for yourself • Connect with your pets, kids, partner and friends • Seek peer support and receive your own bodywork When I first started my career as a massage therapist, many of my clients were retirees. I realized that they were experiencing the loss of their parents, spouses and friends. They were struggling with retirement, health issues and transitioning into assisted living. Being considerate and aware, especially if you don’t know the circumstances around why someone is Through this work, I began feeling like these clients might benefit from a unique treatment plan that would help them give themselves permission to feel their way through their loss. So, in 2004, I added a “Grief Massage” to my menu options. I was afraid of grief pain myself, but I jumped in and embraced it. That one shift in my practice changed everything for me. I became a grief coach and educator in 2019, and now I enjoy empowering others to grieve mindfully. So here is my final piece of encouragement: When you can’t find the words, your hands and your heart will know what to do. grieving, should be your primary concern.

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