Make Copy Shine By Editing 2023

MAKE COPY SHINE BY EDITING

Copyright 2014 by Walsworth Yearbooks Reprint 2015, 2017, 2018, 2023 All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

Published in the United States of America by Walsworth Inc., Marceline, Missouri

Corporate Office: 306 North Kansas Ave. Marceline, MO 64658 800-265-6795

Yearbook Sales and Marketing Office: 7300 West 110th Street, Suite 600 Overland Park, KS 66210 800-369-2965 For more information about this curriculum guide or any other Walsworth products and services, visit walsworthyearbooks.com or call 800-972-4968.

Acknowledgments Sabrina Schmitz, CJE, Walsworth Yearbooks Sales Representative, Key Accounts Specialist and unit author Kris Mateski, CJE, Vice President of Marketing and Communications Stephanie Streicher, Lead Designer Evan Blackwell, CJE, Marketing Automation Supervisor Jenica Hallman, CJE, Copywriter Mike Taylor, CJE, Journalism Specialist Alex Blackwell Elizabeth Braden, CJE T. Edward “Blaze” Hayes Amy Spears Valerie T. Tanke, CJE, Walsworth Yearbooks Sales Representative

Cover photo by Jackson Haltom

Photo by Stephanie Streicher

MAKE COPY SHINE BY EDITING By Sabrina Schmitz,CJE Walsworth Yearbooks Sales Representative and Key Accounts Specialist

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing

MAKE COPY SHINE BY EDITING

The long-awaited day has finally arrived. The yearbook is being delivered and every staffer anxiously waits to tear into those boxes and break the binding on their precious publication. All the sleepless nights, last-minute photo-ops and computer blindness have all been for this moment — seeing the satisfied look on the faces of your peers. You hand out your pride and joy to a student and watch them walk away smiling, but then they stop… turn… and head back to you.

You know what comes next. “You spelled my name wrong.” “Do you know you spelled varsity wrong?” “That’s not what grade I’m in.”

Maybe the perfect publication is a pipe dream. There is just too much to do in such a short time to make sure everything has been copy edited and fact-checked. However, no matter the excuses we make, this fact remains: errors diminish credibility and journalistic integrity. How can we be trusted to tell a student’s emotional tale or accurately document the history of a school year if we can’t spell the word “success” correctly? You can’t learn to edit copy overnight. It is an art that is learned and acquired over time with practice. To get started, we need to look at the foundation for building an insightful eye for copy editing by examining the following areas:

ASSESSING THE STORY LEADS AND LANGUAGE EDITORIALIZING 16

2

8

COPY EDITING MARKS 24 QUOTES AND TRANSITIONS 20 THE EDITING PROCESS 36 AP STYLE RULES 28

1

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing

Objective – In this lesson, I can: • Identify editing needs of copy. • Plan and identify angles in stories. • Practice questioning every word and sentence in a story for accuracy,

grammar, spelling and punctuation.

Photo by Jordan Jackson

When someone is injured and paramedics arrive at the scene, their first responsibility is to assess the situation. They must determine the nature and severity of the problem before they ever go into action. The same is true of copy editing. Before we jump in with our red pens and bleed comments and editing marks all over someone’s hard work, we must first diagnose the piece. Allow your mind to roam freely over the story and see what you react to. Your original thoughts may be jumbled and confused, but you can organize them later. Edit for the “big picture” first, because if the story lacks a message and focus, then it doesn’t much matter if a few words are misspelled. GET READY: The best editors are those who continually expose themselves to quality writing. By constantly reading good writing, a copy editor learns what to expect when editing. Editors need to internalize the qualities of strongly written pieces so they can identify the weaknesses in the writing in front of them. The best editors are also writers. How can you expect to edit a story and advise a reporter on how to best fix it if you are not going through the same struggles? Writing is not a black-and white operation and neither is editing. It is complicated and the only way for an editor to be effective is to understand what it is like to be on both sides of the process.

ASSESSING Lesson 1 2

THE STORY

GET IN THE MINDSET:

A keen editorial eye is obsessive. The savvy editor has the mind of a perfectionist — no small error should be left unaddressed and no comment should be left unchecked.

GET STARTED:

Read through the story once without making a single mark. Allow yourself to see it through the eyes of the audience. Note your initial reactions and questions. • How did you feel after reading it? • What message did you take away from the story? Remember, the best writing is invisible. If the piece is well-written, the ideas will suit the story so well that the message, not the language, will make an impression. DETERMINE THE DAMAGE: After the first read-through, determine the severity of the situation. Is this editing process going to be a walk in the park or is this story on life support and in need of a ton of attention? Are a few word choice corrections going to solve the problem, or do we need to go back to the drawing board and re-organize it entirely? Are small fixes enough or will it need a complete overhaul? Figure this out upfront so you can prepare accordingly. After reading through the story once and jotting notes about your initial reactions, it is time to establish the internal monologue. Read the piece again and have a conversation with it, as though the story is speaking and you are answering. • What questions does the story pose? • What parts are confusing/clear? • Am I reacting positively or negatively? Why? • What does this mean? • Why would he/she do this? • Why should anyone care about this? • Why is this important? • What are they really trying to say? • What/who is the source of the information? • Are the facts correct? • Are there multiple sources? • Does the story meet the staff’s guidelines and goals? Think of it as revision — revision literally means “seeing again.” This time through, try to see the story in as many different ways as possible. GET INQUISITIVE:

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing 3

ACTIVITY

Your Name:

Read through the story below once to get your initial reaction and then re-read to question the piece. Write questions that come to mind as you read. Use the questions listed on the preceding page to help you get started. ASSESS THE STORY As Julia Hudson sat in her room, she listened to music while trying not to absorb the chaos that protruded through the walls. Leaving her troubled past behind her, Hudson learned tricks to balancing family and school-related stress. Both Hudson and Ashlee Valek entered a mindset filled with hope and took away a new outlook on life after overcoming difficult life situations. With below average grades and violent experiences, Valek chose what to do next in her life. “I got into a fight right before I went there, and they were talking about how I need to go to a different school because I was causing such problems, and I had a choice of whether I stayed here or I went to PACE,” Valek said. Along with the struggle of the decision to change schools, Valek dealt with a loss in her family. “My little cousin just passed away, and that made me want to change because life can end at any time, and I don’t want to waste my time having fun. I want to do something worthwhile,” Valek said. This pushed Valek to attend the Practical Academic and Cultural Education (PACE) Center for Girls, a place that helped individuals learn responsibility and gain self esteem. “They assigned me a counselor for anger management, and I talked to her about everything,” Valek said.

With the help her counselor provided, Valek gained skills to help her in life.

“I learned a lot more skills on how important it is to turn your homework in and to graduate on time, instead of thinking the GED is the only way out of high school,” Valek said.

Hudson, another student who aspired to change her life, dealt with her own issues.

4

“I just have the typical teenage problems with who I am, and having to take care of my family when I need to be taking care of myself, and having to be strong,” Hudson said. Although Hudson struggled with personal problems, she hoped to set an example for others. The beginning of her public speaking passion all boiled down to sharing what seems important to her and giving others advice. “I would never want anyone to cope with their problems in distorted ways through substance abuse, unhealthy relationships or anything. I want to help people,” Hudson said.

As Hudson shared her experience with local community organizations, she gained a new perspective on life as well as insight on herself.

“I have accepted more of myself. I have even more things to rely on for the future and even more things to be excited for. It gives me a drive,” Hudson said. Both Valek and Hudson once struggled with personal battles, violence and family problems. However, relying on their own drive, they both created for themselves a better future.

NOTES

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing 5

GET THE ANGLE ESTABLISHED: After reading through the story twice, the message or angle of the story should be clear. • Make sure the angle is strong. • Is it an approach that has been done before? • Stories just about something “new” won’t cut it — what about the something “new” is worth writing about? • Is the angle specific enough? • Is it focused on people? DISCUSS ANGLES: If you assess the angle of the story and find it to be weak, start by talking to the writer. • Listen to the writer. • Urge the writer to put their interview and notes away and just tell the story. • Let them talk about the subject and see if you can find the angle in their explanation. • Ask them to write a headline for the piece if they haven’t already. If it is too difficult to find a headline that works, the angle is probably still unfocused and vague.

ACTIVITY

Your Name:

CREATE AN ANGLE TREE

List all the ideas in the story as branches. Next, determine what the trunk of the tree should be. What is anchoring all these ideas together? Now, redirect the other ideas in the branches to connect back to the trunk. If a branch idea has no connection to the trunk, cut it off. It will only weigh down the rest of your tree. Now, fill out your own angle tree on the next page.

6

SCORE RATE YOUR PROGRESS Lesson 1

4.0 3.0

I can do all tasks in 3.0 and I can teach others!

I can demonstrate the mindset of a copy editor and how to begin the copy editing process. I can... a. analyze a story for the central message and can question the piece for clarity and meaning b. identify and help strengthen weak angles I can demonstrate the qualities of a keen copy editor and understand the level of focus and attention to detail required to edit effectively. I can get started on the copy editing process, but struggle to identify angles and am unsure how to analyze the quality of a story.

2.0 1.0

I still don’t understand how to begin editing copy or where to start.

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing 7

Objective – In this lesson, I can: • Define active verbs and descriptive nouns for strong leads. • Identify weak vocabulary that should be avoided in writing.

When the Roman aqueducts were built in the first century to keep water flowing to the city, they were built at a precise angle. Too steep of an incline and the water would have flooded the houses; not steep enough and the water would have stagnated. The Romans worked to get the incline exactly right, or the entire operation would have been a catastrophe. A similar situation occurs when choosing the words you will use to convey a story. Words are powerful when you take the time to be precise and choose the exact ones. Just throwing in “good-enough” words will either muddy your message or create stale, watered down copy. “Right” and “almost-right” are worlds apart. It’s time to edit out the superfluous language and the almost-right words and find the perfect word that best says what you are trying to say. If you can successfully edit the language of a piece, the story will flow naturally and clearly. POWER OF THE FIRST WORD First impressions are everything. Think about meeting someone for the first time. We spend time putting together the best outfit and thinking of interesting things to share. We want to appear exciting and intriguing. So what better place to start editing word choices than the first word? Starting a story with the word “students” is the equivalent of wearing sweatpants on a first date. The first word of a story is the first impression to the reader. It is going to tell the reader what kind of story they are in for and may help them determine whether it is worth it to keep reading. Therefore, you must edit to make sure that a powerful word or phrase is used up front to create impact from the beginning.

• Figure out what words in the lead you can bring to the front of the sentence to set a good tone and high energy level to the writing. • Get to the impact verb quickly. • Beware of vague

and ambiguous terms or words.

LEADS AND LANGUAGE Lesson 2 8 Photo by Ashley Flores

ACTIVITY

Your Name:

Look at past yearbooks and identify dull sentence starters to avoid in the future. Create your own list and post in the classroom. Here are some to start with: DULL WORD SEARCH

.................................................... .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... Students Teachers Administrators Team names Academic subjects Articles like a, an, the

.................................................... .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... ....................................................

EDITING LEADS

Nothing is better than when you read the first sentence of a story and you feel hooked. There is a feeling of peace knowing that the writer has done their job in conveying a clear message that you won’t have to work to understand and an excitement that makes you antsy to get to the next sentence. “It started with the bass and the drum. Then the music changed to a darker, electronic sounding synthesizer and right when the song seemed to slow down… it dropped.” That’s a good lead. This story was about the trend of Dubstep music, and it creates interest while leaving the reader wanting to know more. You can usually tell when leads are working well. The question is how do you identify when a lead is weak, and then how do you fix it? Before tearing into the lead, consider these questions and determine if the writer has addressed them. • Is there a scene, fact, event or emotion that stands out in the story? • Is there a way to highlight this in the lead and then work the story from there? • What is the tone of the story? • What is the angle?

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing 9

LEADS THAT LACK INTEREST EXAMPLE: Students struggle to keep their phones charged because they are always using their apps. Use a shock or suspended interest lead style. TRY THIS:

BETTER: Dead within hours. Cell phone batteries continue to drain faster as students struggle with a growing addiction to apps.

LEADS THAT LACK ENERGY EXAMPLE: FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) members prepared to take part in the annual state-wide competition that took place in December.

Try a narrative or descriptive style to humanize this lead and make it more engaging. The lead above reads more like a hard news style summary lead.

TRY THIS:

BETTER: The eyes of competitors locked as the tension thickened with each glance and glare. Sitting among their rivals as 30 minutes ticked by, FBLA members nervously awaited the call to present.

LEADS THAT MAY LACK CREATIVITY The following example leads can work, but more often than not end up being used when the writer couldn’t think of anything else. Keep an eye open for these lead types. If they are not original or engaging, the writer may need to try again. QUOTE LEAD: “We had a great year, and we really bonded as a team.”

QUESTION LEAD: Do you know what happened in the English department this year?

IMAGINE LEAD (JOHN LENNON LEAD): Imagine walking into the gym for the last time and hearing your name ring through the sound system.

10

Identify the problem with the lead. Rewrite these leads into strong attention-grabbing leads. WRITE STRONGER LEADS ACTIVITY Your Name:

1. Students chose different styles to express their individual personalities.

2. On Friday, Sept. 24, five new teachers will be presented at an assembly.

3. Social Inclusion club members worked to make special needs students feel involved in campus activities by building relationships with them.

4. Imagine getting a test and realizing that you had studied the wrong material.

5. How would you feel if you missed the game-winning layup during the District Championship basketball game?

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing 11

Photo by Lilly Blue

TRIMMING DOWN

No one likes the Department of Redundancy Department.

We are only given so many column inches to convey our story. Because our verbal real estate is limited, every word must be painstakingly chosen and extra words or phrases must be eliminated. It is not how long the story is that determines its strength, it is the quality of the piece. Editing will help the piece focus on the angle and maintain clarity. Also remember to avoid using clichés. By definition, clichés are overused phrases that are boring and have no place in writing. Edit out these trite phrases.

ACTIVITY

Your Name:

Beware of these common offenders of superfluous language. Circle or highlight the repetitive language in each sentence. Then, rewrite the sentence. REMOVE REPETITIVE WORDS

EXAMPLE: The forward progress of the program brought positive attention to the school.

BREAKDOWN — The word “progress” implies moving forward. To add “forward” as an adjective is redundant. Deleting the word “forward” will not change the meaning of the sentence and will add to its clarity. 1. Swim practice begins at 6:30 a.m. in the morning. 2. The new recruits for ROTC had to run the obstacle course. 3. The crowded mob rushed the field. 4. The students studied the past history of the Vietnam War. 5. She made sure that the notes were written down. 6. The team celebrated their victorious win. 7. He referred back to his textbook for the answer. 8. The committee members came to a mutual agreement. 9. There was a brief moment of peace before the storm hit during the festival. 10. An old antique trophy was stolen from the gym.

12

Writing in active voice brings energy to your writing that passive voice cannot. To keep your writing in active voice, remove all to-be verbs. ACTIVE VOICE VS. PASSIVE VOICE

Know the difference between active and passive voice:

ACTIVE VOICE

PASSIVE VOICE

When a verb’s subject performs the action expressed by the verb, the verb is in the active voice. My family bought a new home. (The subject family performs the action.)

When a verb’s subject receives the action expressed by the verb, the verb is in the passive voice. Homes are being sold by the builder. (The subject homes receives the action.)

KNOW THE TO-BE VERBS

am are is was

were have

been being be did

do should would could

has had

Know the strategies for editing out passive voice verbs: 1. Change the to-be verb to a strong verb. Example: Tony is afraid of notebook checks. Better: Tony fears notebook checks.

2. Eliminate the to-be verb by writing one or more showing sentences. Example: Alligators are mean.

Better: The alligator lurched forward and thrashed about in the water the moment the zookeeper approached, showing his razor sharp teeth and snapping at every step the zookeeper took.

3. Combine sentences to eliminate the to-be verb.

Example: The inefficient time manager is unfulfilled. He heads to bed, disappointed, despite having finished his to-do list. Better: The inefficient time manager heads to bed, unfulfilled, even though he checked off everything on his un-prioritized to-do list. 4. Last two tips for dealing with to-be verbs. • Eliminate the entire sentence if its omission does not change the meaning of the passage. • Leave the to-be verb if changing it alters the meaning, diminishes the passage or makes the structure unworkable.

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing 13

ACTIVITY

Your Name:

USING ACTIVE VOICE Rewrite these sentences using active verbs.

1. With one minute left in the game, a time-out was called by the head coach of the opposing team.

2. For years, the varsity basketball team was the best in the state.

3. French Club members took an active approach to educate their members in a way that would interest them.

4. Devon Martin found his motivation for restoration from his dad, who had worked as a mechanic.

5. Since this was the ecology club’s first big project, excitement arose among members as they began to clean up the beach.

6. Without new leadership, the boys’ varsity baseball players are struggling to make it through each game.

7. It is difficult for Sarah Jones to pay attention in class, but she has no trouble focusing when it comes to playing tennis.

14

DO NOT USE LIST ACTIVITY Your Name:

Create a list of words and phrases to avoid in writing. Start your list with these words.

All passive voice verbs (to-be verbs) School Name School Mascot This year .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... ....................................................

.................................................... .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... .................................................... ....................................................

SCORE RATE YOUR PROGRESS Lesson 2

4.0 3.0

I can do all tasks in 3.0 and I can teach others!

I can demonstrate how to both identify and fix weak leads and language in a story. I can...

a. apply knowledge of precise language and narrative techniques to edit copy for clichés, passive voice verbs and superfluous language b. use telling details and sensory language to create strong, attention-grabbing feature leads I can demonstrate an understanding of the importance of word choice and am able to edit copy for confusing academic language.

2.0 1.0

I can identify weak leads and language, but I do not know how to fix them.

I don’t understand how to identify weak leads nor do I understand the role of word choice and language in creating strong copy

15

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing

Objective – In this lesson, I can: • Identify opinions

in stories and remove them.

Photo by Taelyn Corkill

In a world of selfies and constant social media posts where we can share every thought, event or emotion with the world, it is no wonder it is difficult to keep editorializing out of writing. We are so used to centering what we write and post around our own thoughts that writing without giving an opinion on a subject seems impossible. But yearbook reporters are charged with telling someone else’s story. It is not about the writer. Writers are simply the behind the-scenes architects of the piece. Think about it this way: If an architect builds and designs a skyscraper, do they get a say on what the building is used for after it is built? They don’t own the building and therefore it is not their place to comment, judge or advise on what happens in the building after it is finished. Our writing is no different. We may design the story, organize the information, and build the overall message, but that does not mean we have earned the right to comment.

16 EDITORIALIZING Lesson 3

ACTIVITY

Your Name:

ELIMINATING OPINIONS Look for opinion adjectives in previous yearbooks and list them below. Consider these:

.......................... .......................... .......................... .......................... .......................... .......................... .......................... .......................... Beautiful Gracefully Intelligently

Outstanding Skillfully Spectacular .......................... .......................... .......................... .......................... .......................... .......................... .......................... ..........................

.......................... .......................... .......................... .......................... .......................... .......................... .......................... .......................... Terrific Unprecedented Wonderful

Look for opinion statements: Is there another side to the story? Could someone have a different take on the issue? If so, there may be editorializing.

EDIT OUT THE EDITORIALIZING - SHOW, DON'T TELL: Editorializing can generally be fixed by changing the statement from a “telling” sentence to a “showing” sentence. If the detail is shown through accurate description, the reader will get the message without being told an opinion statement. Example: Telling statement: Regina Phillips was nervous to receive her final exam results. In the sentence above, the writer is telling the audience that Regina was nervous. But how can the writer show this emotion instead? Was she sweating or swearing? Was her forehead furrowed? Fingers crossed? Holding her breath? How was she sitting? What was she saying? All of these details will help the writer show the emotion.

Showing statement: Beads of sweat appeared on Regina Phillips’ forehead as her shaking hand scrolled down the online gradebook to reveal her final exam score.

17

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing

ACTIVITY

Your Name:

WRITE A SHOWING STATEMENT Telling statement: Camille Williams, the best player on the varsity volleyball team, strutted onto the court. Showing statement:

Telling statement: Tyler Smith was overjoyed to see his sister. Showing statement:

Photo by Rachel Phengsitthy

18

Seniors Chase Kerr and Andrew Niro force a Central High School player to the ground in a joint effort. Central took the lead in this close game as the clock ran out, however the boys stayed strong on defense throughout the entire game. “It was challenging playing against their defense, they ran great formations and were one of the hardest teams to defend,” Niro said.

What details are missing?

Where is the editorializing?

How can these sentences be edited to be more specific?

SCORE RATE YOUR PROGRESS Lesson 3

4.0 3.0

I can do all tasks in 3.0 and I can teach others!

I can demonstrate an understanding of how to identify editorializing and how to edit it out of copy. I can...

a. identify opinion adjectives in writing and can edit them out

b. use descriptive details to change telling statements into showing statements

I can demonstrate an ability to maintain an objective tone while writing and can apply this to copy editing.

2.0 1.0

I can identify editorializing, but still struggle with how to edit it out of copy.

I don’t understand what editorializing is or how to identify it in writing.

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing 19

Objective – In this lesson, I can: • Apply editing techniques that smooth transitions between paragraphs. • Identify quotes that add emotion to the story and remove or paraphrase quotes that do not. • Edit copy so the

transitions and quotes are not repeated in the copy.

Photo by Michael White

Transitions and quotes are the meat and potatoes of a story. They are the main event that holds the story together and moves the message along. However, editing this part of a story can be tricky since its success relies heavily on the interview and the information the reporter gathered prior to writing. But no matter the overall quality of the piece, there are a few concrete items to look for when editing the body portion of a story. HANDLING TRANSITIONS THE WHEN ASKED TRANSITION Be aware of the transition that attempts to transcribe the interview. Example: When asked how he felt about collecting items for the homeless, Trevor Williams said he was humbled by it all and was grateful for the opportunity to help. Better: Collecting items for those less fortunate humbled Trevor Williams and left him feeling grateful for his station in life. Be aware of the transition that repeats the same information presented in the quote. Example: Students say they are looking forward to the arrival of the new principal. “I’m really looking forward to the new principal arriving,” Wayne Scott said. Better: Excitement arose among students such as Wayne Scott at the thought of fresh leadership on campus.“I’m really looking forward to the new principal arriving,” Scott said. THE REPEAT TRANSITION

.................................................

.......................................................

QUOTES AND Lesson 4 20

TRANSITIONS

THE FACT QUOTE HANDLING QUOTES

............................................................................................

Be aware of quotes that convey facts instead of emotion or important, story-telling information. When you see them, ask the reporter if he possibly got a better quote during the interviewing process. Example: “The debate team practices every Wednesday after school in the cafeteria,” Joshua Lyman said. Better: “Debate practices get so heated that sometimes we forget that we are all on the same team and that it is just practice. Sometimes we have to take a few minutes to cool off when things get intense,” Joshua Lyman said.

THE QUOTE WITH ATTRIBUTION

...........................................................................

Unless there is a clear and specific reason, all quotes should be attributed with the verb “said.” Example: “I can’t believe we are an ‘A’ school for the third year in a row,” Principal Jessica Schultz exclaimed. Better: “I can’t believe we are an ‘A’ school for the third year in a row,” Principal Jessica Schultz said.

THE QUOTE WITH MINOR EDITS

...........................................................................

Quotes can be edited, but rarely. Some instances will allow you to edit poor grammar as long as it does not affect the integrity of the quote. All vocalized pauses should be edited out of quotes as well. These include phrases such as “ya know” and “hmmm.” Example: “Ummmm…. I thought the competition was… uh… fair… ya know… for the most part,” Samuel Powers said.

Better: “I thought the competition was fair for the most part,” Samuel Powers said.

THE NOTHING QUOTE

.......................................................................................

Be aware of the quote that conveys no information and fails to further the story.

Example: “I took art because I like painting,” Jack Kelly said.

Better: “I was inspired by my mom to paint. She always took me to parks to paint nature scenes since I was little, and ever since then I couldn’t put the brush down,” Jack Kelly said.

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing 21

Identify the transition and quote problems in this story. Edit the story, fixing the problems. WORKING WITH TRANSITIONS AND QUOTES ACTIVITY Your Name:

Sifting through racks of clothing at local thrift stores in their spare time paired with their desire to make their own apparel led to the creation of What Dress Code?, a clothing line by Nikole Passarella and Alexandra Kerns.

“I like doing DIY (do-it-yourself) stuff because I like making things,” Passarella said.

When asked how she felt about creating a customer base, Kerns believed that high school students make the best clients. “I wanted to create my own fashion line because all high school students dress the same, and I wanted to help change that,” Kerns said.

Passarella thought that the clothing line was successful.

“I think that the line has been successful in the sense that people are really interested in what we do,” Passarella commented.

This new endeavor forced Kerns to balance her fashion line with her other responsibilities.

“I work 15 hours a week and have approximately three hours of homework a night,” Kerns said. What Dress Code? saw success and its founders continued to expand their products to reach a broader audience.

22

SCORE RATE YOUR PROGRESS Lesson 4

4.0 3.0

I can do all tasks in 3.0 and I can teach others!

I can demonstrate an understanding of how to identify weak quotes and transitions and also how to improve them to create stronger copy. I can... a. identify the different types of transition problems and can edit them to reflect a clear relationship among the various ideas in the story b. identify weak quotes and can direct the writer on how to obtain stronger, story-telling quotes

2.0 1.0

I can identify weak quotes in a story, but I still struggle to identify weak transitions and understand how to best fix them.

I don’t understand the role transitions or quotes play in furthering a story.

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing 23

Objective – In this lesson, I can: • Define copy editing marks.

If you have ever tried to communicate with someone who spoke a different language, you understand how frustrating that process can be. No matter how good the message is, if you’re not speaking the same language, you can’t get the message across effectively. Copy editing marks are the universal language of editing. If both the writer and editor commit these marks to memory, they will be able to clearly communicate so the corrections to a story can be made with ease.

24 COPY EDITING MARKS Lesson 5 Photo by Carlos Giron

COPY EDITING MARKS Insert a comma..............................................................................................................

,

_ ______ _ ______ stet

Leave as originally written...........................................................................................

“

Insert quotation marks or apostrophes....................................................................

_ ______

‘

Separate run together words.......................................................................................

_ ______

Lowercase.......................................................................................................................

_ ______

Uppercase.......................................................................................................................

_ ______

Do the opposite..............................................................................................................

_ ______

Transpose letters or words..........................................................................................

_ ______

Delete letters, words or phrases not needed............................................................

_ ______

Delete a letter in the middle of a word and close....................................................

_ ______

Delete a letter at the beginning or end of a word, or punctuation mark......................................................................................................

_ ______

Insert a letter or word....................................................................................................

_ ______

.

Emphasize a penciled-in period..................................................................................

_ ______

Emphasize a paragraph or begin a paragraph........................................................

_ ______

=

Insert hyphen..................................................................................................................

_ ______

Insert a dash...................................................................................................................

_ ______ _ ______ # # #

End of story.....................................................................................................................

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing 25

ACTIVITY

Your Name:

Write in the correct editing mark in the line next to the definition. ________ Insert a comma ________ Leave as originally written ________ Insert quotations marks or apostrophes ________ Separate run together words ________ Lowercase ________ Uppercase ________ Do the opposite ________ Transpose letters or words ________ Delete letters, words or phrases not needed ________ Delete a letter in the middle of a word and close ________ MAKE YOUR MARK

Delete a letter at the beginning or end of a word, or a punctuation mark

________ ________ ________ ________ ________ ________

Insert a letter or word

Emphasize a penciled-in period

Emphasize a paragraph or begin a paragraph

Insert hyphen Insert a dash

Either of these marks says the end of story

SCORE RATE YOUR PROGRESS Lesson 5

4.0 3.0

I can do all tasks in 3.0 and I can teach others!

I can demonstrate an ability to use copy editing marks in the editing process. I understand the purpose of copy editing marks and can use them effectively to convey directions to the writer. I understand the need for copy editing marks, but I don’t understand what they mean or how to use them.

2.0 1.0

I do not understand the need for copy editing marks.

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NOTES

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing 27

Objective – In this lesson, I can: • Apply frequently used AP style rules to writing. • Practice using editing marks.

Photo by Sydney Hansen

Consider what school would be like without any rules. Sounds like a blast, right? It might be fun for a little while, but it wouldn’t be long before things took a turn for the worst. At best, students would be out of control and chaotic. Whether we like to admit it or not, we all appreciate some rules. Rules keep life functioning smoothly and consistently so we always know what to expect from not just ourselves, but from others as well. The Associated Press Stylebook is a rulebook for journalistic style. It sets forth style guidelines that help keep copy concise and consistent. Abiding by the AP style rules eliminates confusion for the reader as they move through a large publication. Though the voice of the writer may change as readers jump from story to story, the rules keep the style consistent and orderly so it is easier for the reader to process.

28 AP STYLE RULES Lesson 6

AP STYLE RULES

Spell out numbers less than 10, including fractions less than one. Spell out first through ninth when they indicate a sequence in time or location. I slid into second base. Look for the third house on the left. Spell out any number, except a year, that starts a sentence. Spell out casual expressions of numbers. A picture is worth a thousand words. Use the percent symbol. Use figures with percentages. I used 25% of my money. Always use the numeral for dates with no st, nd, rd or th. The homecoming game is Friday, Nov. 6, at the stadium. Always use $ and the numeral unless there is no numeral or it is a casual reference. I have $25 in my pocket. There were millions of dollars in that car. NUMBERS

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Lowercase all titles not used before a name. Joe Biden, president Joni Ernst, senator Lowercase all titles that are primarily job descriptions. farmer teacher movie star Capitalize all formal titles when used before a name. President Joe Biden TITLES

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ABBREVIATIONS Abbreviate titles when used before names.

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Sen. Mike Smith Gov. Mike Smith Abbreviate avenue, street and boulevard in numbered addresses only. 5555 Smith Blvd. I live on Smith Boulevard. Abbreviate months with more than five letters when used with a date.

Dec. 15 is Mr. Smith’s birthday. December is the best month ever.

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing 29

ACTIVITY

Your Name:

The following sentences have a mistake in bold. Using copy editing marks, correct the sentences according to the rule found in the AP Stylebook. If you have a stylebook, write the page number where you found the rule or copy and paste the link into a document. AP STYLEBOOK TREASURE HUNT

1. Her birthday was April 1st .

2. Lunch is over at 1:00 PM .

3. Mrs. Smith was the head of the History Department and English Department.

4. The kids will graduate in Dec. 2024.

5. Mike Alstott is the Full Back for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

6. The school is located in New Port Richey, Florida .

7. Miss Jones had a tutoring session during lunch yesterday.

8. The teacher asked for 8 volunteers to show their project.

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9. PHCC is a good school to attend if you’d like to earn an Associate’s Degree .

10. The student body increased by over 200 students.

11. The Mustangs beat the Rams 21 to 20 at last night’s game.

12. The staff had an extra day off for labor day falling on a Monday.

13. Night school was canceled on Tue. and Wed. nights this week.

14. It is important to know proper punctuation (like how to use parentheses.)

15. You can find a lot of information on the web about war.

16. My favorite time of the year is the Fall .

17. New Year’s Day is exciting; you have a fresh start for the New Year.

18. This information should just stay among the two of us.

19. I vacation biannually ; I save up to go on a longer trip every two years.

20. I prefer to attend the pre-season football games so I can observe all the new players.

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing 31

ACTIVITY

Your Name:

USING AP STYLE Correct this passage to read accurately according to the Associated Press style rules. Use the appropriate copy editing marks.

Ban May Go Beyond Pajamas

the fate of the most emotionally issue charged on Student Council’s Nov. Ballot could hinge on a

question of dress code.

Would banning pajama day during homecoming week threaten participation for 100’s of students

who depend on this day to earn spirit points for their class?

Passage of similarly worded dress-up day bans at neighboring schools have thrust this issue to the

front of the student council agenda.

So far, one schools Student Council has ruled that the pajama day ban prevented students

from dressing inappropriately, however other students feel that this ban will hurt participation in

homecoming week events

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Use copy editing marks to correct the AP style errors in the sentences below. USING AP STYLE AND COPY EDITING MARKS ACTIVITY Your Name:

1. The software costs four hundred and twenty-five dollars.

2. The President dedicated Mount Rushmore.

3. John Glenn, Astronaut and United States Senator, almost ran for President of the United States.

4. Meredith McNulty, English and History Teacher, planned a trip to New York.

5. The Sophomore class and the Juniors got into an epic battle during powder puff.

6. The society will award cash prizes for the top three entries: $40 for 1st place, thirty dollars for second place, and twenty dollars for 3rd place.

7. American History will not be taught next year, but political science will be.

8. Blues Brothers 2000 has a PG 13 rating and is showing at Westport cinema. I had a bag of chips and a coca-cola for lunch.

9. This is the first District title for the Pioneers in over twenty-five years.

10. Composer and Orchestra Leader Aaron Copland composed multiple songs.

11. The U.S. $ is weak, and that is part of the reason the national debt is into $1,000,000,000’s of dollars.

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing 33

NOTES

34

SCORE RATE YOUR PROGRESS Lesson 6

4.0 3.0

I can do all tasks in 3.0 and I can teach others!

I can demonstrate an understanding of the Associated Press (AP) Style rules and their purpose in keeping copy consistent for the reader.

I understand how to edit for both style and consistency.

I can identify passive voice in writing and understand how to change the sentence to an active voice statement.

2.0 1.0

I understand the purpose of AP Style but I still struggle with how to edit so that the copy consistently abides by the rules.

I don’t understand the purpose of AP Style rules in copy editing.

Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing 35

Objective – In this lesson, I can: • Apply editing best practices and techniques.

Writing can be a taxing activity. Reporters should write freely while thoughts are flowing and ideas are clear. They can save the editing process for later. However, this does not mean to write “hot” and then pass along your rough work for some editor to trudge through. A fresh set of eyes is important, but since it is your piece and you know it best, self-editing is a practice that cannot be sacrificed in the name of saving some time. When you reach a resting point in your writing, step away from the story for a while. It could for be for an hour or a day, but give yourself some space so that you can approach editing the piece with a fresh perspective. WRITE HOT, EDIT COLD Now that you are comfortable with editing the content of a story, it is time to address the copy editing process. With so many stories being submitted at various times by a variety of writers, an organizational structure for editing needs to be in place. Without it, writers can be confused by mixed messages from editors, printed drafts of stories can be lost and the quality of the story will suffer.

Then return to your story with a keen, objective editing eye.

Follow the same process for your own story that you would if editing someone else’s work. Examine the story for the purpose of both subjective and objective editing.

LISTENING FOR CONTENT Comments/Questions: PEER-EDITING FEEDBACK

36 THE EDITING PROCESS Lesson 7

THIRD TIME’S A CHARM EDITING BEST PRACTICES With so many different areas of writing that must be edited, it is imperative that each story is read multiple times. Each time you read through a story, look for something different. Use the pattern below as a guideline. • Read once for content. • Read once for organization. • Read once for language.

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READ STORIES ALOUD

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It is amazing the errors in content and language that are uncovered simply from reading something aloud. Our voices tend to find the errors and inaccuracies that our minds glaze over. Read to your friends, your editors, your parents, your pets… anyone who will listen. If all else fails, read it out loud to yourself. As you find errors, pause to make the corrections.

READ ALOUD TO A SMALL GROUP

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Instead of reading through your story multiple times looking for different areas of concern, allow a group of peers to help you go through the editing process. Assign one person to listen for content, one to listen for organization and one to listen for language. Your editing audience can write comments on a feedback form, like the one below, as you read, or you can provide a copy of your story to each group member that they can use to provide feedback.

LISTENING FOR LANGUAGE Comments/Questions

LISTENING FOR ORGANIZATION Comments/Questions:

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Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine By Editing