FSR April 2023

Behind the Scenes

a (gender inclusive) late-night meeting, [and] a men’s meeting. How do you fundraise? It doesn’t take a lot. We need two sober restaurant leaders per meeting and we require a place to have a meeting for an hour a day. We have someone who man ages social media for awareness, and we go to food and wine festivals. So there is cost, but we’ve been fortunate that people have been so supportive that we haven’t had to raise a lot of money—but as we grow, we will need more. e spir its industry has also really stepped up to donate. ey recognize that we don’t say alcohol is bad; it’s just bad for some peo ple. We really look for corporate partners. We’ve been lucky with the festivals, and many ask us to attend, but we might do a sober after-party. ere is a lot of alcohol consumption that goes on at these things. If you’re at a big festival and 98 percent of people there are imbib ing, it can be di cult. What inspired you to go into the food business? No one else would take me. I came in before the internet, before foodies and ‘Top Chef’ and in uencers. I will never forget that I was there to help create an experience for people, and that felt so ful lling. I never saw serving other peo ple as a less-than job. I found my tribe. It was 1990 and there’s never been a time when I thought about doing anything else. What’s next for Ben’s Friends? We want to be in every city in America. ere’s a need, and we will not stop until that’s true. As long as there are people who need help getting sober—and there will always be people who need help get ting sober—we want Ben’s Friends to shine a brighter light on all of it. And we want to remove the shame of addic tion; it’s a disease, not a moral character aw. And it’s a disease that kills; there’s no middle ground with addiction. I just want to do my part to help people. It’s the least I can do; the industry has given me everything I’ve ever had.

“Mental health has just not been a conversation we’ve had, but in the past five years it’s been great to see that conversation shift.”

STEVE PALMER IS A RESTAURANT INDUSTRY VETERAN AND FOUNDER OF INDIGO ROAD HOSPITALITY GROUP.

BEN’S FRIENDS

very public because we were addressing a decades-old issue. What happens at Ben’s Friends meetings? It entails just showing up, and the meet ings are an hour. People sit around and talk, and it’s very much a sense of com munity. To sit in a room with your tribe and know that guy’s been sober for ve years and he does the same job I do— there is so much power in that shared experience. at’s the gift; you see peo ple who are not only managing to work in hospitality and stay sober, but they’re also thriving, not just existing. Hospitality is a subculture. We work when everyone else plays. So there’s a feeling of safety if you walk into a Ben’s Friends meeting. If you look around, you may not know anybody, but you know they’re your people and they know the stress and the adrenaline and getting o work at midnight and the camara

derie that comes with a restaurant job. e power in that was something Mickey and I underestimated. People have said they don’t feel comfortable in other recovery groups, but they do here. You also have Zoom meetings now, in addition to the in-person groups? We have 21 Zoom meetings a week for people who can’t get to a physical meet ing. COVID was a happy accident in that regard. We were in 11 or 12 cities at the time, and we know isolation is the enemy of recovery, and we had a bunch of peo ple trying to get sober locked in a house by themselves. So we immediately went to Zoom and all of a sudden, we had 30, 40, 50 people on a Zoom call. Every day at 1 . . is the national Zoom meeting, led by a di erent city each day, which is pretty inspiring. ere are also subsets now on Zoom. ere is the Ben’s Friends Fems for women only,

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FSRMAGAZINE.COM

APRIL 2023

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