Escapees March-April 2023

aren’t they next to the regular candles? I’m so confused! Names As a full-time RVer, traveling through Terra Incognita all the time, you will be required to meet a lot of strangers. This causes me a great deal of anxiety, as I have Athazanomatophobia. That’s the fear of forgetting someone’s name. It’s pretty amaz ing that I’m able to remember that word, but have trouble with “Joe!” I don’t know how I do it, but I have the amazing ability to instantly forget the name of someone to which I’ve just been introduced. This is a real liability when you meet a lot of new friends all the time. I’ll walk over to someone and introduce myself: “Hi, I’m Mark”, they’ll say “Hi Mark, I’m John” and an instant later, their name will make a whooshing sound as it departs my brain, most often perma nently. I don’t know what to do. If it were up to me, everyone would be required to wear name badges at all times! Hey, that’s probably why I joined Escapees! Problem is, it’s even worse when you get introduced to an entire group. They only have to remem ber one new name, while I am required to forget a whole bunch of names all at once! It just doesn’t seem fair. Mail We take so many things for granted when we live in a house that doesn’t roll. Getting your mail usually means a short walk to the mailbox. For a full-time RVer, getting the mail can be a source of much amusement… or angst! Most full-timers use either a forwarding service of some sort, or a friend or relative to deal with their mail. This means that you will either have a profes sional or a friend/relative sending your mail to the wrong place. There’s nothing like calling the forwarding service and telling them to send your mail to general delivery in Gargantua, Illinois, and then discovering that the post of fi ce there is only staffed from 11 to 11:15 on alternate Thursdays. Or that the old post of fi ce burned down last month and your mail “should be” at the main post of fi ce 175 miles away. Another fun thing to do is to get your package successfully, only to discover that you just paid express postage on a phone book and

you off—three for the rig and one for you (unless you run into a really big one, then it’ll just bite through the chain and you’re history). Smaller ones have also been known to puncture your RV tires and then wait until you get out to have a look. Don’t fall for it. Stay inside and use your cell phone to call for the police. Laundromats Okay, I admit that I’m not real fond of doing the wash, but what choice do you have? If you don’t wash your clothes, the neighbors tend to avoid you. Even when everything goes well, it’s no fun, but nothing compares to the joy of a washer that won’t drain or a dryer that won’t dry. I stand there with my hand full of quarters and I feel like I’m in a casino: OK, lets see…that one doesn’t look lucky, lets try this one…cachunk…dang, nothing! And even if I fi nd one that doesn’t steal my money, it’s just my luck to pick the washer that someone else just used to wash their horse’s saddle blanket or their collec tion of oily rags. Time spent in a laundromat seems to go by slower than just about any other kind of time, and no matter how good a job you do, you’re just gonna have to do it again in a week or so.

“As a full-time RVer, traveling through Terra Incognita all the time, you will be required to meet a lot of strangers.”

Stores Every time I go to the grocery store, it’s a different store. I spend a lot of time wander ing around looking lost, and seeking a thing that should be easy to fi nd, but isn’t. There’s no rhyme or reason to the layouts of most stores, and sometimes they put stuff in the strangest contexts: (“Hey, excuse me, where can I fi nd the Cheeze Whiz? It’s in the Pet Food aisle??? Well, Okay”) Where’s the darn soap? Shouldn’t it be here with the rest of the bathroom supplies? Toothpaste, fl oss, lotions, but no soap. What is this, the Dewey decimal system? And why are all these religious candles next to the salsa? Why

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ESCAPEES Magazine March/April 2023